I'm done with my practicum. It was quite an experience. A shocker, I must say. I've never imagined that I would gain so much from it. I'd always thought about it as a waste of time, based on the stories I heard from people who already had theirs. They never did anything that would really qualify as OJT work at all. A friend told me his experience -- he was asked to make pad paper out of continuous sheets. For others, all they have to do was show up at the office doing apparently nothing and their hours would still count. It just became a formality, lacking so much depth. It didn't fulfill its purpose anymore.

Having heard so much negative remarks about the practicum, I really -- oh, and I mean REALLY -- hated it. I hated the fact that it would eat up my entire (I'm so not exaggerating here) summer break. I hated that I was the only intern from DLSU and the only intern under the IT unit (called iChannel) I was assigned to. I also hated the fact that iChannel is all about web development. Honestly speaking, I don't know anything about web development. I took that subject for granted back during my sophomore year. And this is the price I pay for doing so. To much of my dismay, not only do I have to be persecuted for being a web developer who doesn't know much (or anything!) about web development, but I have to do it using a language I've never encountered before. They were using programming languages which were nothing but foreign to me. I've never done anything using Visual Basic, ASP or SQL Server in my entire life. Oh, the horror. It's like asking me to rap in Chinese! And if those still weren't enough to tick me off, the fact that I am new, and a girl (because the entire IT floor seems to have female scarcity) would probably do the trick.

I spent each day of my first week glancing at the lower right portion of the screen from time to time to check if it's already 5:30pm and getting more and more impatient if it's not. I really felt like it was a punishment, in every sense of the word. I didn't know what I was doing. Every night when I get home from work, I'd have to search for tutorials that could help me with my tasks because internet access is very limited in the office. My communication skills has always been either a zero or a negative. Talking to people was never easy for me, let alone people from the opposite gender. That's why when I have a question, I spend 10 minutes debating with myself if I should ask someone about it or not. I'm fortunate that my boss and officemates are very friendly and approachable. I could see that they go out of their way to make me feel welcome in the group.

After quite a while, I started to learn the ropes. I realized I was actually having fun with tasks which require programming (yup, I'm a geek) even though it drains the energy out of me. The documentation, I still abhor but it's all good. I also started enjoying the company of some of my officemates. They would tell me their OJT experiences and how it was like for them during their first weeks at Security Bank. They'd tease me at how I seem to act older than most of them because they watch Gossip Girl and I don't. I still need to improve on my people skills though, because most of our conversations only happen if they initiated it.

There were a lot of times when I thought I was never going to make it. It seriously felt as though it was the longest summer of my life. But looking back at it now, I wouldn't have it any other way. The entire experience didn't just expose me to other people. It exposed me to ME. I didn't know there was this other side of me, just waiting to be found. Maybe in the coming months, I'd hang out with this side of me even more. Lol. God amazes me every time. He knew exactly the right mix of trials and hardships that would make us a better person. He certainly won't give us something He knows we can't handle. Just like what He did to Job. All we have to do is lift everything to Him and the dark clouds we once saw wandering our sky will soon disappear.

I'm still scared. But now, I'm willing to face that fear because I have God and the people I love to guide me every step of the way. Plus, you really can't appreciate the light unless you've been in the dark.