We had a job fair in school last week. It was particularly for us, incoming 3rd year Computer Science students specializing in Software Technology, who are about to have our internship this summer. There were companies like CAI-STA, Procter & Gamble, Orange & Bronze, Pointwest, PDC, & Accenture who set up booths for inquiry and submission of resumes and application forms. Also, each company had the chance to present to us an overview of how the work would be like in their respective companies if they hire us -- as an intern and as an actual employee.

To be truthful, I am thrilled about the fact that I would soon be exposed to an actual working environment and will have the chance to prove myself effective in the IT world. I would also be able to apply all the knowledge and skills I have learned from the 6 terms I've spent in school. And I would be able to assess if I am fit for this career and if I will last in this industry.

On the other hand, while one half of me feels all jittery and excited about my internship, the other feels all lonesome and troubled. What if's are starting to pile up in my itsy bitsy head. What if I mess up? What if my boss and/or co-workers didn't like me? What if I didn't make a good impression? What if I can't do what they asked me? OR WORSE.. What if I didn't get hired by any company AT ALL??

And then it hit me. This is not a joke anymore. Play time's long gone and it's time to get serious. We're talking about work and real jobs here now. There should be absolutely no room for fun and games. This internship is going to predict how my future would be like. I can't just relax and take things easy. I must work hard and put my heart into everything I'm gonna be doing. No room for mistakes and erasures. I cannot afford even a single ink blot on the paper.

Here I go, being too hard on myself again. I really should stop hitting my head with a hammer shouldn't I?