Chocnut Madness

Back to pen and paper?

2008-10-06T21:23:00.004+08:00

Maybe.

I'm not deleting this though. Same with the other blog. I need it as a reminder. Right now, I'm changing my medium. Or not. We'll see.

THIS IS ME SIGNING OUT.

Surfaaaaace

2008-10-04T23:00:00.002+08:00

My artistic (naks!) hormones are raging again and I am itching to change my layout. Unfortunately, good 'ol Nutty Patooty doesn't have Adobe Photoshop installed on him right now. So I'd have to settle for just scratching the itches at the moment. Hahaaa. I actually kind of modified it already now. It looks messy but I like it that way. Hay. Adobe Photoshop, I need you now!

So, what has my badass self (Riiiiight.) been up to lately?

Well, I'm reading again. Sort of. I've been on a reading hiatus since I finished Breaking Dawn. Yes, that's how disappointing it is. Haha enough about that. I've already expressed my anguish and disappointment over it on an earlier (and much longer) entry. I'm currently on The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. It's a love story with an intriguing twist. Definitely fictional but worth swooning over, nonetheless. It's been two weeks since I started reading the book and I think I've only read about a third of it. I didn't even lay my hands on it once in the past week. Am I losing the reading bug? Oh Breaking Dawn, I swear I'mma kill you! Hahahaaaaa :))

La Salle lost to Ateneo in the UAAP '71 Finals. I watched Game 1 pala. The school spirit was amaaaazing. And oh, look at what they did during the Ateneo Bonfire.

Fooooooul.

I tried watching Private Practice and I loooooved it. I love Addison! She's the reason I checked it out in the first place. But I'm loving the other characters as well. Most especially Cooper! I love him! Not as much as I love Pete though but you get the idea. I love how Cooper treats his patients. And how he is with Violet. And he's so funny. Anyway, I'm definitely looking forward to future episodes. Yeeeeey :)

Crappy update. I'm sleepy na eh. Bye!

The Cheshire Cat

2008-09-26T20:54:00.008+08:00

Cheshire Cat: Oh, by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.
Alice: Who did?
Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.
Alice: He did?
Cheshire Cat: He did what?
Alice: Went that way.
Cheshire Cat: Who did?
Alice: The White Rabbit.
Cheshire Cat: What rabbit?
Alice: But didn't you just say - I mean - Oh, dear.

Don't worry..

2008-09-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

..I'm still alive. Lol.

Where'd time go?

2008-09-13T20:41:00.002+08:00

I haven't been updating. Ooh, what a shocker. But I'm not doing it on purpose, though. Seriously. It's just that I had Nutty (my laptop) reformatted so I wasn't able to go online for a few days. And after that I got lazy. Hahaha. So, what happened?

ACADS
We're now on our 2nd term for this school year. Yes, term 1 is over. And yes, so is the week-long term break. My grades were high enough to put me on the Dean's List. :) Tough term, so I'm really grateful to God it paid off.

Term 2 began last Wednesday. My subjects are okay. I don't think I'm going to have fun in any of them. Haha sama. I dunno. I'm not exactly fond of Biology (SCIMATB/LBYMATB) or Statistics (PROBSTA). And we have the dreaded thesis (THSST-1). So, goodluck nalang. Haha. But I'm taking up Photography (AD-FOTO) though. I'm hoping it's going to be fun even just in that subject. Haha.

CRAE'S 18TH
Sep 1, I went to Crae's not-so-surprising surprise party with Jacque which her Mom threw for her. Haha. I think it was the first time I saw Crae (and Jacque) again after ages and ages of busy and conflicting schedules. I missed talking to them (And I miss it still! Kulang eh). We really need more dates ASAP. Haha. Anyways, it was fun. I got to see some of my highschool friends again, and listen to some kickass open mic night performances. Hehe. Though we had to leave early kasi maaga pa yung duty ni Jacque the next day. Happy birthday again, Sisthurr! Atsi loves you!

DAD'S ARRIVAL
After 6 months of working in Vietnam, my Dad was finally allowed to have a 2-week vacation here in Manila. Well, it's not really a vacation because he still has to work at the office here. He's been here for a week already and he's staying until the 21st. We're gonna bond again - which, roughly translated, means LAMON. :)) He hates it when I rant about not being able to lose weight. Sometimes it gives me the idea that he wants me fat forever so he won't have to deal with the dreaded boyfriend issue. Hahaha kidding. XD

HOUSE M.D.
I've been watching House M.D. during my free time and I'm really enjoying it. I love Hugh Laurie and his amazing American accent! Isn't sarcasm so sexy? You definitely gotta love it. Hahaha. And I also love his "stupid, screwed up friendship" with Dr. Wilson. Hahaha. Dr. Cameron reminds me of Dr. Sara Tancredi from Prison Break. Don't they look alike or is it just me? Lol. I'm just in the middle of the 2nd season, though. I have a looong way to go. So shut it, you people! Or I'll bite you. HAHAHA.

BIRTHDAAAYS
Happy birthday, Crae! (Sep 1st)
Happy birthday, Miles! (Sep 5th)
Happy birthday, Rachel! (Sep 10th)
Happy birthday, Kim! (Sep 13th)

I miss a lot of people. A lot of people, do you miss me too? Haha labo.

Who did Lucas call?

2008-08-24T20:09:00.005+08:00

I'm not so sure but I think I might subconciously mention some spoilers here so if you haven't watch OTH Season 5 yet, this is really a good time to leave my blog. Thanks.

I just finished watching the 5th season of One Tree Hill the other day. And the last scene was a tormenting cliffhanger! ARGH. Who the hell did Lucas call?? I'm dyiiiiiiing to know but please don't tell me. I want to see it for myself. Hahaha.

I really hope it's Peyton! Ever since OTH started, I had always been rooting for Lucas and Peyton. I think they're just both too scared of something THAT good and real that they end up doing the wrong things and making wrong decisions when it comes to their relationship. Peyton's life has always been so full of drama. And when Lucas gets hurt, he tends to hide from his feelings for Peyton by throwing himself out to the next girl who comes too close.

As for Brooke, I like her character too. She has grown so much. She's not this highschool cheerleader anymore who just wants to party and get wasted every night. Now, she loves herself so much more. And she wants to have a baby! I love how her character developed over the years. If she's the one Lucas called on the season finale, I think I'd be okay with it except for one thing -- it would ruin Brooke's friendship with Peyton. Their friendship is one of the things I love about the show. It would really suck if they start fighting again. Check out this short clip from one season 5 episode. I'm no Brooke-Lucas shipper but I do love Chad and Sophia as a real-life couple. And this scene is just too heartbreaking considering that they're divorced now and Chad's already engaged to someone else. Tsk. Sigh.

Don't they look adorable? I wish they just stayed married in real life. :(
Well anyway, moving on to Lindsey. First of all, let's face it. She's the new girl in town and although we all love to hate her, she's still great. She tries to be supportive in everything Lucas does -- including helping Peyton and Brooke even though it makes her insanely jealous. She always puts a brave face for him. I admire that. And plus, her smoky eyes are really gorgeous.

By the way, seeing Mark Schwahn (creator of One Tree Hill) do a cameo in the show again -- in a longer scene with longer lines -- is very nice. I love how his character, Max, checks up on Peyton and gives her advice. They have always shared a special kind of friendship. For those of you who can't remember who he is, Max is the owner of the music store Peyton used to go to. Max had known Peyton almost all her life. When Peyton's foster mom died, he would give her free records and ask her to listen to particular songs to help her cope with the pain. It's like a brother looking out for his baby sister.

I have to say, I enjoyed watching this season. It wasn't as good as the previous seasons but I guess I just missed it so much that simply watching the episodes always gives an air of satisfaction. And the soundtrack pretty much kicked ass!

I cannot wait for Season 6! Must. Not. Google. Spoilers. Hahaha.

Chad Michael Murray turns 27 today. Happy birthday, Chad! :)

Suddenly, it was as if roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzer, the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from a thousand miles away. And what remained in that bizarre muffled silence was only Peyton, the girl whose art and passion and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we had always been meant for each other, and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth: I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer.

-Lucas Scott, An Unkindess of Ravens

21 months

2008-08-23T20:25:00.002+08:00

Until now, I'm still amazed by the fact that you're still here. With me. No matter how many times I say "we've been through so much", it would always seem such an understatement. There really were times when we came so close to giving up. And now, I just want you to know that I'm so grateful we didn't. You are one of the sweetest things God has given me. I don't mean to sound selfish but I'll definitely keep you with me.. for as long as you'll allow me to. Thank you for believing in me. I honestly don't know what you see but that look you always give me every time you stare into my eyes makes me feel so alive. I definitely wouldn't want this any other way. I love you.

Thank you for the past 2 years -- well, almost. :)

Tadaaaaaaan!

2008-08-18T01:09:00.001+08:00

Since I ran out of colors, I figured, why not try black and white right? Lol. So it's not completely black and white but you get the idea. I found this really loud photo by Beaucoupzero and immediately fell in love with it. So I used it as a banner and made everything simple to give emphasis to the pic. Yii I love blog makeovers. Hahaha.

I'll continue this tomorrow or maybe delete it and post a new one. I don't know but I'm so sleepy right now at nakatulog na ren yung panget eh. Haha ok so goodnight!

[EDIT]

Oh no. I didn't know my blog looks like this on IE and Mozilla. Sorry, I'm using Safari kasi and I forgot to check if it looks the same on other browsers. Haha my baaaad. But it's fixed now, I think. Hehe.

[/EDIT]

What just happened?

2008-08-17T01:02:00.000+08:00

I don't know, either.

Those who believe in telekinesis, raise MY hand.

2008-08-10T15:16:00.008+08:00

I think I know why I was so disappointed with Breaking Dawn. It was because of my love for Leah Clearwater! If you've noticed on the last chapter (which you probably haven't because you were too busy jumping up and down for everyone else's happy ending), Leah's fate wasn't mentioned. At the beginning of book two, I thought she was going to end up with Jacob because Stephenie Meyer hinted SO MUCH about the possibility of the two of them being together. I swear I was awww-ing like crazy during the Jacob/Leah moments (even their trying to get on each other's nerves was so damn cute). I didn't care if Jacob imprinted anymore. I just wanted him to be with Leah. That's it. I would've been happy with that. And just when my insides were all screaming "Yaayy for Jake and Leah!" because of what Meyer had written about them, bada bing, bada boom! -- he suddenly imprints on Bella's daughter. Great. Just great. Stephenie wasn't satisfied with crushing my Jacob/Bella dreams in Eclipse. Cos now she also crushed my Jacob/Leah dreams in Breaking Dawn. How lovely.

Haha BD hangover. Expect lots more in the entries to come. LOL.

Oh! I have SonicFlood tickets na! :D Hooraaaaaaayy! Hahaha. I'm so excited :) This is the first time I'll be watching a concert since Good Charlotte. Hahaha! And I really needed this one because I want to be reminded of how sweet and fulfilling it is to be in His presence. Not that I forgot, of course. It's just that.. err, it's complicated. Hay, Chel! Surface, remember?! Stay on the surface! Lol. Laboooo. Basta I hope everything goes well -- kahit may defense pa kami sa araw na to pupunta pa rin ako. Haha 8pm pa naman yun eh. So nothing can go wrong na, dba? Ok, good good. It's settled, then. Haha weird kiddo.

I finally had the guts to cut my hair -- ok, not really since it's still long. But I did get full bangs! :) Dati pakipot pa eh side bangs lang. Hahaha landi. But now it's full and I love it naman so far. Hahaha may so far? Lol. Pics are on my multip. Too lazy to post here.

I want a new layout. But I ran out of colors to play with. So if anyone has invented a new color, kindly email me! :D

Hahahaha XD

BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUT: Happy 18th to my cousin Gazelle! Hey, finish BD already! I want to talk to you about it! Hurry! Lol.

I wasn't able to watch the first episode of Pushing Daisies last week -- I fell asleep! Hmmpf! Looks interesting though. I'll check it out on crunchyroll or somewhere else and then maybe buy the entire season on dvd. Wohooo piracy! XD

This is getting really senseless. BYE!

Let's stay on the surface, shall we?

2008-08-08T20:49:00.002+08:00

If it weren't for the insanely long Breaking Dawn rant, this blog would totally be on amag mode. Sorry about that. Here's something to remove the amag-ness. Lol.

1. I am a complete loser because I haven't seen The Dark Knight yet. Uh-huh, you read it right. You can laugh at me now -- and maybe throw some tomatoes/crumpled papers on my face if you happen to have any with you. But save some for number 2 because I'm sure you're gonna loooove that one.

2. I watched A Very Special Love instead. Yup. You can throw some more.

3. I want to watch SonicFlood live in Araneta! No, scratch that. I NEED to watch SonicFlood live in Araneta. IT MUST HAPPEN. Lol. But me still no tickets :(

4. I went to the Breaking Dawn Pre-Launch Party with Airi. It was last August 2nd at Powerbooks Greenbelt. I got into a really good high that afternoon. It made me more excited for the 4th book (which disappointed me later on, hence the previous entry). And I really liked the part where everyone screamed at the good parts of the movie trailers (which is practically every scene with Edward in it -- and James!). Lol. Cha, sayang talaga I didn't see you. Muntik na! :)

5. One Tree Hill Season 5 has finally started to air in the Philippines! I missed them so much! Especially my Lucas and Peyton <3 And for some reason, Nathan makes me cry. I think I have seen 3 or 4 episodes and each one is just so perfect. There are certain tv shows which I loved in the beginning but as the story evolves, I kind of got tired of it and just didn't bother watching it anymore. I think that's what happened to me with Grey's for some reason. Maybe because Burke and Addison aren't there anymore? IDK. Wait, bat napunta na sa Grey's? Haha my point is, hindi nakakasawa ang OTH. Period. :)

6. Beijing Olympics na :) Go Team Philippines!

7. Today we went to my cousin Ate EJ's house for her wedding reception. Her kids -- Sontee and Thea -- are soo cute! Ang puputi! Hahaha. And I missed my cousin Louise. She's such an angel. She's just 8 but she blabs like a 30-year-old woman! So adorable :)

PANGET, I MISS YOU. BE HERE, ALREADY.

More nonsense blabbering pag inaamag na ulit. Haha kidding.

Oh no she didn't.

2008-08-06T22:56:00.004+08:00

WARNING: This entry contains spoilers so if you haven't read Breaking Dawn or haven't finished it yet, stop reading this entry and get the hell out. Don't say I didn't warn ya. Again, we are entitled to our own opinions. This happens to be mine. So if you don't get that, get your own corner in cyberspace and throw all your fits there, thankyouverymuch.

Okay, so I've finished reading Breaking Dawn today. It contains 700+ pages -- the longest in the series -- of McCullen goodness but to be honest, I was disappointed. First of all, I didn't expect any of those things to happen. Everything was a shock, and not in a good way. The characters seemed so hugely different from who they were back when Eclipse ended. I flinched and cringed probably as many times as Stephenie Meyer mentioned those words in the book. :-/

The first 3 books in the series left A LOT of unanswered questions making the readers crazy and drooling over the release of the 4th book. We all have our version of Breaking Dawn in our heads. Personally, I was expecting a sort of long engagement tied with some goose chase with the Volturi or the werewolves, a little flirting and jealousy from both Edward and Bella (considering that Tanya and Jacob will be there) and eventually leading to a fairytale wedding upon the last few chapters, leaving us dazzled and mystified, wondering if she was turned into a vampire or not. I could've been happy with that.

But that's not what Meyer did. Oh no, it wasn't even close. Instead of stringing us along until the anticipated wedding at the end, she already got them married by the 3rd chapter. Which leads to the honeymoon by chapter 5. Guess what's next. Okay so this is where the confusing part begins. Let me say this first: One of the things I love about Stephenie Meyer is how she manages to create a mysterious and fascinating world, complete with the intricate details (or standards) of what could and could not happen in it. Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse were shaped by these standards. In Breaking Dawn, however, Meyer decided to shy away from these rules she set herself and decided to simply allow a vampire to father a child just like that. Yup, that's what I'm talking about. Didn't she make it clear in Eclipse that vampires cannot procreate the way humans do? I mean, if female vampires are genetic dead ends (as Leah would put it), why are male vampires not? I think this single twitch started the chain of troubling events that followed which made me pause for a moment and think if what I was reading really stemmed from the same story which began as Twilight. What happened?

If the baby's existence didn't bother you enough, then maybe the fact that it feeds on Bella's blood and energy during the pregnancy will. The baby literally devours on Bella, growing wildly and rapidly inside her, bruising her belly and literally cracking her bones in the process. And Bella even gulped human blood to keep it alive! Wait. Earth to Meyer. This is the same Bella who almost passed out on blood typing in Biology class, right? So in book 4, she drank blood and LIKED IT? Even if she's gonna be a vampire soon enough, she's still human at the time of her pregnancy. Okay so let's say she's doing it for the baby, but still, she said she liked it? Whoops. Again, what happened?

Another bothering fact is the delivery of the baby. Bella vomitted a fountain of blood and the baby ripped its way out of her. Edward even bit her to get it out. I've never seen Meyer do such writing before. Considering the level of vampire horror her previous 3 books contained, this one is just too much. She stepped it up a few notches and completely forgot to hit the brake. Like I said, it was too much.

And don't even get me started with the name. Renesmee Carlie? I used to admire Meyer's choice of names for her characters (Edward, Emmett, Carlisle etc) but Renesmee? I'm surprised it even got past the editors. And crap, I can already see some avid Twilight fan naming their child that. Oh I just know it. Lol.

And the imprinting. Oh my. Why on earth would she let Jacob imprint on the baby? It's not even the age gap that's disturbing anymore since Meyer already manifested that it's a possibility through Quil and little Claire. It's the fact that it's not just anyone's daughter -- it's Edward and Bella's for crying out loud! What was she thinking? Is that the picture of a happy ending? Jacob becoming Bella's son-in-law? And what would they tell Nessie (yes that's her nickname) when she matures? Ugh. That's just plain absurd.

The character development was insane. Bella got more whiny and selfish. Seriously. Even at the beginning of the book, she complains about the expensive car Edward bought her, the wedding, the preparations etc. Okay now that I think about it, it's kind of normal because she's Bella and she hates the attention. So forget about that. Anyway, she claims that she loves Edward more than life itself, right? But what has she really done for him, exactly? The choice to become a vampire? Edward didn't want that for her. She insisted that herself. In Eclipse, she realizes that she loves both Edward and Jacob. And then she made the choice to be with Edward. But she refuses to let go of Jacob completely. And with that, she's not only hurting Jacob, whom she rejected, but also Edward, whom she picked. She says she hates herself for inflicting so much pain to Jacob but she continues to cling to him. Like she would never be whole without him. Despite the fact that she's married. One clear and irritating manifestation of this is when she refers to the baby as "EJ". Did she even pause for a moment to think about Edward's feelings? Don't go blushing and "Awww"-ing on me, people. It's not sweet. It's downright selfish. Maybe the queen on the cover of the book is Bella after all, conquering the entire chess board.

Let's go to Edward. He's the reason why Twilight has been such a fuss. He has cast every female who has read the saga under a spell. He's got dazzling golden eyes you could just drown in, mysterious gestures, romantic lines, amazing strength and speed.. and oh, did I mention he sparkles? He's the perfect leading man! But in Breaking Dawn, the knight in shining armor that is Edward suddenly vanished. He became the slave to Bella's wants. I swear I'm going to scream if I hear him say, "If it makes Bella happy," one more time. Enough, already. This clearly isn't true love.

In Eclipse, Meyer showed the tough issues Bella has to deal with if she chooses to be with Edward and be changed into a vampire. That includes leaving the normal human life behind, cutting ties with her parents and her human friends. She would not be able to have children of her own. She would have to temporarily lose her human feelings and fight the bloodlust and thirst of a newborn vampire. She would spend a while to regain control of herself and her thirst as a vampire, just like the rest of the Cullens. She would also cut ties with Jacob since it will break the treaty. And finally, as Edward had always believed holds true for all vampires, she would lose her soul. These are compelling issues which would have been great to give emphasis to in BD. However, I didn't see any of these issues get addressed. In fact, BD just stomped all over it as if they were never mentioned in the past books. I didn't read anything about Bella's grief and agony of leaving the human life, which would have been great to focus on. And also, when Bella became a vampire, she didn't experience the difficulty of controlling the thirst which vampires should have. Sure, it's great because it shows how strong Bella really is. Though I can't help but think that Meyer used it to force her happy ending. Oh well.

Wow. This has really been a long entry. But I'm not done yet. Lol. So I just ranted about how much I was disappointed by the book but there are still parts of Breaking Dawn which appealled to me. I love the fact that Jacob narrated a third of the book. It's like a breath of fresh air. It's more fun to read which sort of compensated a little for the whole drama of the book. I love how he calls Rosalie Blondie. Lol. And the chapter titles were a knockout. But what I loved most about it is Jacob's heartbreaking lines/thoughts. Here's one:

So why did she [Bella] have to be so damn thrilled to see me? Like I'd made her whole freakin' day by walking through the door. If she would just not care... Or more than that -- really not want me around. It would be so much easier to stay away.

There's one scene where Jacob went to the park and stared at each girl who passed him by, forcing himself to imprint to get over Bella. That was heartbreaking. And moreover, this was his thought when he saw Bella after that:

When I stared into her eyes, I saw everything that I'd been looking for in the park.

Jeez. I'm such a sucker for sad stories, aren't I? Hahaha. I guess I just miss the Lion-Lamb-Wolf triangle that it really took me by surprise when Jacob just completely forgotten how in love he was with Bella and vice versa. I mean, it's the love triangle that makes the series brooding and mysterious, right? Even sexy. The fact that there are two opposing supernatural creatures who are so in love with a defenseless ordinary human being. That's where all the spark is coming from. And when Bella became a vampire, the sparks just died.

But I really loved the last scene, where Bella took off her shield and let Edward inside her head. After I got disappointed with the plot, I found myself smiling at the end of it.

I'm pretty sure I still missed some points I wanted to share but I'm getting tired already so I better end this. I know some or even most of you may not agree with anything I've said in here. We all have different views on things. This is just my medium of expressing how I felt after reading the book. No offense meant. If you enjoyed the book, then good for you. Besides, at the end of the day, it's still your own opinion that matters most.

I still like Stephenie Meyer. I think she loves her characters so much that she wants them all to be happy, which is a pretty tough goal to achieve since her vampire romance has sides. How can both sides win at the same time? Anyway, if she continues to write more, I'm sure I'd still grab a copy and check it out. Especially if it's The Host XD

So what's next? Midnight Sun, is it? In that case, can we also have a re-telling of New Moon in Jacob's POV? :D

Relieeeeeeeved!

2008-07-23T21:59:00.001+08:00

PUMASA KAMI SA THESIS PROPOSAL DEFENSE!!! THANK YOU LORD! :D

PS. Happy 20th month, loves! ILY. <3

Wala na tayong masilungan.

2008-07-20T22:11:00.003+08:00

Kahit for public viewing pa tong blog ko, sigurado akong hindi mo to mababasa. Ikaw pa, eh wala ka namang ibang alam gawin kundi ang wag makialam sa buhay ko (yuck ang drama). Kaya dito ko na lang sasabihin. Sorry. Hindi dahil sa may ginawa ako sa'yo. In fact, wala nga akong ginawa eh. At yun ang mali. Kaya sorry talaga.

Ipupusta ko aso ko pag nabasa mo to. Ayy sorry wala pala akong aso.

fangirl tendencies

2008-07-18T19:02:00.001+08:00

Before you say anything, don't. HAHA. This is my blog and if I wish to dwell on my fangirl tendencies, I'm very much allowed to do it here. So if you're not in any way interested in my fangirl tantrums, I suggest you leave RIGHT NOW. :))

Okay. I love Twilight and all but this photograph gracing the cover of Entertainment Weekly's July 2008 issue is just so wrong. That doesn't look like Bella. Bella doesn't wear a dress, let alone a tube-d (?) one. And the make-up is too over the top. And Edward.. oh my lord, I can't even search for the right adjectives to describe that Edward :| I know he's a vampire and all but he's supposed to look perfect and attractive to his prey -- which is us. And in that picture, I don't know the words that would describe him but perfect nor attractive are definitely the last choices. Haha. I think I've read a comment that says the apple outshines them both. Lol.

I don't know. Just ignore me. I guess I'm just really too loyal to the book that I have a keen eye in noticing even the slightest bit of alteration in the movie. I think I'm the only one who isn't thrilled about that cover photo, aside from twilight-mate Jezza. Oh well, they won't look anything remotely close to that in the movie anyway, will they?

On the other hand, this photo -- which can be found inside the same magazine -- is totally HOT. In fairness to Taylor Lautner, he really does look like Jacob in this one. It seemed like he gained pounds and worked his muscles out for this movie. I'm impressed! But I still prefer Steven Strait, of course. :) And I so love James and Victoria. They're definitely THE hot vampire couple! She's waaaaay hotter than the one playing Rosalie. Oh! I was browsing just now and I came across this Cullenized photo of Emilie de Ravin made by Sempiterna. Don't you think she'd be better as Rosalie than.. err, what's her name?

Haha sorry kung parang ang dami kong complaints sa movie. I am in no position to judge because I haven't even seen the whole movie yet but we still are entitled to our own opinion. Still, I really do hope Catherine Hardwicke (the director) will prove me wrong. And besides, I'm quite satsified with Edward and Bella. Kristen's perfect for Bella. And Rob.. well, he does have unflattering angles but his crooked smile surely makes up for it!

Dammit, Edward! Your crooked smile is gonna kill me!
And if all these photos are not enough, you can watch the second HD Twilight trailer at Yahoo! Movies :) The first trailer is also there -- the one with Edward's crooked smile. Hahaha. And before I forget, there's an online petition for the early release of Twilight here in the Philippines. Please be kind enough and sign the petition. The signature goal is 5,000 so it would be really helpful if you would sign. Thanks!

More of the these fangirl tendencies soon! HAHAHA.

I'll be here awhile.

2008-07-07T15:13:00.005+08:00

So what's up?

I've been really busy lately -- you know, busy being lazy. Lol.

But seriously, I was flooded with school-related duties to fulfill. Well, that's because I've been putting off some of it for the longest time already so they kind of.. you know, piled up. And so I spent last week swimming through it. Lol.

First, would be the OJT Post Deployment forms. To be brutally honest, I still am not finished with it -- just half of it. Grrr. Whenever I would think about it, the huge headache it brought me keeps coming back. HASSLE. Yes, that's the word. Wait, no. Shut up, Chel. Okay, I'll get it done over the weekend. I mean it. Haha.

Another pain in the rear would be the Green & White (yearbook) forms. This one was really due to my abundant laziness. Haha. I think I crammed it 2 days before the deadline, when it's been with me for 3 weeks already. I know, tell me about it. Blame the write-up. Everytime I'd try doing it (or just even start doing it), I would see the write-up sheet and I would go, "Okay. Maybe later.." I don't know. I just don't like talking about myself. Moreover, I don't like talking about myself in the third person. That's just.. disturbing. Haha. Even though it's just 80 words, it beat the crap out of my brain cells. I had to ask for help, especially from Jay, to fill me in on what I should include in there. It was unbearable.

But of course, the biggest burden award would definitely go to our thesis proposal. Oh yes, as my professor once said, it's the "highlight of my college life". Highlight alright. Don't even get me started.

Season 71 of the UAAP has officially begun and we lost the first game against Ateneo. But it was a good game. Sayang lang kasi nag-aaksaya ng free throws ang La Salle. Oh well, bawi next time! I wanna watch live!

Going back to academics, this week is midterm week. I have an exam in DIGIMAP tomorrow, which I know nothing about, if I might add. Wednesday, we'll have a mock thesis presentation. Thursday, submission of another project deliverable in COMPILE. And Friday, midterm exam in ADVANDB, which has a looooong coverage. Oh, shoot me now.

To make things even worse, I haven't watched Wanted yet. Damn. It's James McAvoy, people. Oh no no, mister. Don't even think about giving me spoilers or else I'll hunt you down! Lol. PLUS, I haven't reserved a copy of Breaking Dawn yet. It's gonna be out in a month! And just like every other female on the planet, I want to get my hands on it right away as soon as it comes out. Hay. I just hope school will behave and cooperate. HAHAHA.

Oh! A little update on my Picoult list :) I mentioned before that I bought 4 of her books at the same time, right? Well, I'm down to the last of those 4! I'm reading Nineteen Minutes now. It's the thickest that's why I saved it for last. Geez, I'm such a dork. Lol. Out of the 5 Picoult novels I've already read, my favorite would have to be My Sister's Keeper and Perfect Match. I really couldn't put it down. But all of them were great! And I'm sure Nineteen Minutes would be just as beautiful -- or maybe even better. After this, I'm gonna hunt more Picoult novels. I WANT THE PACT!! Okay I'll shut up now.

Lastly, birthday shoutouts:
Happy birthday, Je-an Sutilo! (June 27th)
Happy birthday, Kemuel Verzosa! (June 30th)
Happy birthday, Lolo Rudy! (July 5th)
Happy birthday, Rikki de Castro! (July 6th)
Happy birthday, Dave Dela Cruz & Pastor Ongtangco! (July 7th)

I'll update soon.

2008-07-06T23:04:00.001+08:00

For now, just check out this quote I found somewhere. Lol :)

Love is when I walk all the way to the other side of the classroom just to sharpen my pencil to pass by him -- and realize that my pencil is a ballpen.

Awwww <3 Updates, soon. Goodnight :)

just a quote and nothing more

2008-06-28T22:00:00.001+08:00

"How much longer can you do this to yourself? Your life is literally passing you by!" - Eric to Benny, Benny & Joon

Love Calendar

2008-06-23T15:37:00.003+08:00

No classes today dahil kay bagyong Frank. Pero hindi naman umulan. Hahaha. Tas tomorrow Manila Day so classes are still suspended. Hello, long weekend! :D

Last night, Jay and I were talking and we decided to make a love calendar. He was actually the one who came up with the idea. Basically, we would think of something we could do together each month to celebrate our love :) Tis like our very own list of "holidays" per month :D Here's what we've thought of so far. It's in random order because everything's still tentative XP

Spoil The Crave Day, Cerealicious Day, Timezone Day, Fully Booked Day, Eat All You Can Day, Coffee Shop Day, Matching Outfit Day, Postcard Making Day, Watch The Sunset Day, Hearts Day, Sing Me A Song Day and Palit Bag Day :)

So basically every month may gagawin kami to celebrate our love! :) Sabi niya mapapasubo daw siya sa Sing Me A Song day. Hahaha this ought to be good XP I'll provide more details on this pag naayos na namin :) And today's our 19th month anniversary :) Happy 19th, partner! I can't wait to see you na! I love you! <3

I finished reading Jodi Picoult's The Plain Truth. I wasn't able to abide by what I stated in my past entry. Once I got hold of last week's allowance, I immediately went to the nearest bookstore and bought 4 Picoult novels. Lol. I'm serious. You can ask Jay :) I bought Plain Truth, Second Glance, Perfect Match and Nineteen Minutes :) I'm reading it in that order and currently, I'm on Second Glance. Picoult's books are amazingly hard to resist. I didn't get to continue rereading New Moon. But I'm still with the werewolves. Ay, Switzerland pala. Lol.

New layout featuring The Beatles :) Oh, you just gotta love the Fab 4 <3

Well anway, gotta go. I'm having cramps. Nawala na ko sa mood magtype. Hahaha bye!

When you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

2008-06-20T16:15:00.002+08:00

Jodi Picoult is best known for her captivating tales about thoughts, emotions and actions of real people. In My Sister's Keeper, she tells the story of how a family can be torn apart by the members' contradicting needs. It also shows a kind of love that transcends beyond human weaknesses.

Anna Fitzgerald was conceived for a specific purpose. She was genetically designed to be a perfect genetic match for her older sister, Kate, who is dying of leukemia. As early as birth, Anna has already been donating parts of her to Kate: bone marrow, blood, stem cells, you name it. As long as Kate needs it, Anna was always there to provide it with.

But when Anna turned 13, her sister now needs a kidney. She loves Kate with all her heart but Anna has had enough. She then hires Campbell, a lawyer, and sues her parents for denying her the rights to her own body. As the case reaches the court, things start falling apart for the Fitzgeralds. Their father, Brian, becomes torn between the conflicting needs of his children. Their mother, Sara, will do everything to hold the family together and keep Kate alive, whatever it takes. Their older brother Jesse becomes delinquent and rebellious due to the weight of his family's situation. As the trial eventually reaches the end, Anna now discovers who she really is and what it's like to stand up for herself.

Picoult, being the literary genius that she is, used several narrators in the novel. She gave the readers a glimpse of each of the characters' thoughts to understand them better but essentially made it even more painful in deciding who to sympathize with. Picoult definitely tackled this sensitive topic with grace, wit and surprisingly, humor. She managed to include funny and lighter moments which balances out the entire story. I think most of us might relate with Anna on different levels. She just might be a reflection of ourselves in more ways than we think.

"The only way I can fight for you is if you can prove to everyone that you can fight for yourself when I walk away." - Campbell to Anna, My Sister's Keeper

Multisensory Aesthetic Experience

2008-06-18T23:55:00.004+08:00

It started like this..
I'm on the brink of something beautiful
And I want to sing about it
But I don't know where to begin
Write it in a letter
But the words don't come out right
Trying to explain how nobody can do me like
You don't understand how helpless I can get
Since the day we met
Oh, can you feel it yet?
- Ready And Waiting To Fall

Did you know, what you were doing, did you know?
Did you know how you would move me well?
I don't really think so
But the night came down and swept us away
And the stars they seemed to paint the most elaborate scene today
- We're So Far Away

That blossomed into something more..
And by the way you brought me here
It makes me believe the best is still yet to come
And I don't want to leave

And if you'd be honest and say what you mean
You know I would promise I'd do anything
Because I know that without you I'm giving it away

You've introduced me to the moment
Oh but I'm looking to stay for good
You asked me to say forever
Well, you know that I would, I would do anything
- Giving it Away
Sometimes it may seem like..

The confidence you held in us is the rope we almost hung ourselves with
At times I wonder if we really took the steps to break right through it
I know that there were better days, but to see the light and to feel the rays
Life was always back and for and we were idling or making useless progress

It seems like yesterday we had the world our way
But some say we're heading for destruction.

I'll ask you "What in the world should we do?"
This light is green our break is through
Are we not trying or are we trying too hard?
- Sun

But then it still goes back to..
If all is said and done and over
If we don't have to we're not going to
Make the change, it's worth the try
What's broken can be fixed tonight
- Embers and Envelopes

I think that we've got what it takes to get this heart start beating again.
I think you're the only one who gets this entry. I'd just like you to know that you are, and always have been, the love of my life. Although there are times - especially recently - when it seems like everything's falling apart, I really appreciate your trying to keep it together. I'm glad neither of us had let go. Love is not all warm and fuzzy feelings. It can get ugly and painful sometimes, but as long as you share it with the person you feel most secure with, then there's nothing that you can't overcome. Thank you for being my hero. ILY.

Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light.

2008-06-15T11:54:00.008+08:00

Edward Cullen is the new Romeo Montague. I'm telling you, I can see him EVERYWHERE. He seriously invaded the blog entries, written journal, words, thoughts and dreams of every breathing (or rather, hyperventilating) female on the planet! It's insane. What has Stephenie Meyer done?? :)) I couldn't even begin to describe how agonizing it is for the guys. Impressing girls is already hard work as it is. Let alone being measured using the new Edward-o-meter. Poor guys. But then again, some of those XY chromosomes might be just as hooked to Meyer's vampire romance as we are. :P

Let's see.. What have I been up to lately?

I finished reading My Sister's Keeper last night. Maybe I'll just write a review about it on a different entry if I don't get too busy this coming week. I'm putting off my Picoult book-athon (?) for a moment because (1) I don't have the luxury to buy another book from her collection yet and (2) I can't find that particular novel of hers which I want to read next in any bookstore I've gone to. So maybe I'll just continue re-reading the Twilight saga. I'm currently on New Moon. Hello to that giddy giddy feeling I get because Jacob is there! <3 Sa inyo na si Edward. Jacob is mine! :))

And oh! Speaking of Jacob Black, I had an epiphany. Hey, don't laugh! I'm serious. Ready? Okay so Bella often referred to him as her "own personal sun", right? Not only because of the fact that he is literally warmer than room temperature, he always brings sunshine during Bella's darkest hours, cheering her up and filling the holes (although not completely) which Edward created. Well anyway, book 4 is called Breaking Dawn, right? Dawn is defined to be the twilight before sunrise. At this time of day, the sun is still below the horizon but almost peeking through as we can see its weak presence. Maybe that ought to tell us something about where Jacob's story is in the 4th book. After the dawn, it's gonna be sunrise. That might mean he's not going to die after all, right? :) Okay, Jacob Black fans, you can exhale now - all three of you. HAHAHA!

Oh! I got my ears pierced twice last week :) Not actually both ears, just the left one. I don't know why I did it, really. Vanity, maybe? Lol. I guess it's just something I've always wanted to experience, that's all. And I think it looks fierce! XD Haha I miss Christian "Ferosh" Siriano! I wonder where he is now. He's probably making clothes for Victoria Beckham :)

Regarding school, we've already submitted the 1st chapter of the thesis proposal. Our topic is on greenstick fracture analysis through image processing. It's not yet final though, but right now that's our strongest option. As for other subjects, they're not too hectic right now. But I'm getting the feeling that they will demand for my attention soon and at the exact same time! Lol. I hope not.

Shoutouts:
Happy birthday, Jam Catapusan & Leo Galicha! (June 11th)
Happy birthday, Alona Alcanse! (June 14th)
Happy birthday, Patricia Demandante! (June 15th)

Happy Father's Day to the number one man in my life - Daddy! And of course, to Jay as well for giving me Chad :) ILY! And to all the fathers out there, too. :)

Okay so that's about all the blabbering I could handle for one day. Bye!

I can really be so gullible.

2008-06-14T17:42:00.009+08:00

It's nearing a week now since I found out. But my ears still burn with fury whenever it would cross my mind. I couldn't believe how naive I had been - believing your words when it has lies written all over it. You made me feel that I could trust you. That you're a friend. That you want to help me. That you cared. But that was all an act, wasn't it? It was all part of your rotten plan.

You used what you are as a decoy and tricked me into thinking that what I'm doing is in his best interests, and my own too. And the natural imbecile that I am, I fell for it. I ignored my gut feeling - although it was screaming and fighting for my attention - and told myself that you, of all people, cannot do such a shameful thing.

But that's where I was wrong.

You are just like them - only worse, but altogether branching from the same tree. You all pretend to be nice and harmless, but by the time you are in close proximity with the target, your fangs, horns and tail claw its way out as you finish off your prey. You all have the same blood running through your veins: that of deceit, selfishness and betrayal.

What hurts me the most is the fact that when I met you, I was at the point in my life where I actually believed I'm getting more confident and stronger than I have ever been. That I can do things on my own. And when I was getting close to finishing that few remaining steps to the other side, you burned the bridge and turned it into rubble. As if saying, "Hah. You wish."

And I started feeling insignificantly tiny again. All those things I've been trying to bury - fear, vulnerability, weakness - are crawling back to the surface, haunting me. Thanks to you.

Don't you dare tell me that you're only human. Because newsflash: WE ALL ARE.

Someday, I know I'll find the heart to forgive you. I'm not made of granite. But right now, just allow me to grieve. You owe me that much. And the rest, you owe to the Lord. Siya na ang bahala sa'yo.

Silence was just a quieter way to lie.

2008-06-07T18:52:00.007+08:00

I've finished reading The Tenth Circle yesterday. The reviews were right. It's definitely a remarkable tale which discusses the true meaning of the parent-child bond. There really is nothing parents won't do for their children. They would literally go to hell and back just to keep their child safe. Nothing can ever compare to that. Plus, the story is wrapped around a very controversial issue, which many of us are aware of but haven't really gotten a good look at. The Tenth Circle shows how a husband and wife, with secrets of their own, deal with the crisis plaguing their child, as well as themselves.

Jodi Picoult is definitely one heck of a storyteller. She writes with intricate detail, making the novel impossible to put down. She broke out of the traditional storytelling scenario and incorporated artwork and illustrations with her narrative. She collaborated with Dustin Weaver, a very talented comic book artist, to produce a graphic novel that would give depth to the story. The result is a novel with a perfect weaving of artwork and narrative. Picoult's mind is pure genius.

Reading this book convinced me to continue rummaging through her growing list of published works. I guess I'm going to put off re-reading New Moon. I was just too caught up with how real Picoult's works are that I had to temporarily leave the green and rainy town of Forks (and La Push for that matter). Next on my Picoult list: My Sister's Keeper :)

According to Stephenie Meyer's official site, her next project would be Midnight Sun. For those of you who don't know yet, it's Twilight, told from Edward's perspective. Nothing new's going to happen, just loads of mesmerizing lines from the man we all daydream about. Oh, admit it! Hahaha. But to be perfectly honest, I wasn't exactly thrilled to hear about it. We all know Edward's a sweetheart. In fact, he's already drowned us with his captivating words on all 3 books. And then there's still Breaking Dawn. So Midnight Sun might be just.. I don't know, too redundant? Hahaha forgive me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope Meyer would start writing the sequel to The Host instead! I really fell in love with this book and I think it truly deserves to be a series. It's better than Twilight. So you guys better check it out! But don't go looking for any traces of Edward or you'd be downright disappointed. Lol. Bottom line is, I believe The Host is the best story Meyer has told so far. Ending it as it is would be a total shame. It deserves more than just 600 pages. Who has read it? Don't you agree with me? Anyone?? Hahahaha

I was thinking of putting labels on all my entries.. But I haven't quite figured out how that entire thing works so I don't know, maybe not. And I don't really like my entries appearing on multiple labels. It would like, limit the things I could blog about in an entry, right? Okay so no labelling, then. Hahaha XD OC, I KNOW. SO JUST SHYADDAAAAP! :))

"Just because you didn't speak the facts out loud didn't erase their existence. Silence was just a quieter way to lie." -Jodi Picoult, The Tenth Circle

According to Dictionary.com..

2008-06-04T20:36:00.003+08:00

HYPOCRITE

hyp-o-crite [hip-uh-krit]

- noun

1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs

Sometimes, you make me want to believe that you're one.

I know I'll regret saying this. But I really can't imagine what might happen had I chosen to just shut up and keep this in. So bear with me.. or don't. Right now, I don't really care.

more of the twilight frenzy

2008-06-02T18:16:00.006+08:00

I AM HYPERVENTILATING. I've just witnessed a clip of the first completed scene from the Twilight movie! It's a portion of the ballet studio scene where James is filming Bella, as Edward suddenly arrives. I must say that seeing it for the first time surely gave me this sudden rush of excitement which sent my stomach in endless circles. I can't believe I was watching the story I've grown to love slowly come to life - even for just roughly over a minute. And then, clouding the skies of my little happy place, impatience and apprehension suddenly stole the throne once I realized the clip was over. Before I prattle some more, I figured you might want to watch the clip yourself. You may do so by clicking here.

Okay so after watching it the first time (and calming down, of course), I played it again - but this time, comparing it against how I pictured that scene in my head while reading the book. The movie (or that scene particularly), I have to say, wasn't very much faithful to the book. Bella was supposed to be unconscious and bleeding to death when Edward arrived. Not staring at him frightened. And the stunts were a little flawed and unrealistic. I might be wrong, as I haven't seen the entire film yet but I do hope that the pivotal parts of the novel will be given an appropriate amount of emphasis in the film. I can't believe I'm gonna have to wait until January(!) to see the whole thing when I'm witnessing parts of it already as early as now. Argh. How frustrating.

I just found out about err.. something. Something I wished I never have found out at all. I can't figure out why I'm upset about it but I am. I so am. Para kasing sinasadya eh. Ugh. The nerve. Okay stop it, Chel. Enough. Just go back to Twilight. HAHAHA!!

I read Twilight again last weekend, and it still has that same damn effect on me like it had the first time! It still gets to me, though I already know what's going to happen. I'm excited to read New Moon again because the dog is there :) Lol. But I'll cease the Twilight nostalgia first and read something else written by someone else. Hahaha. It's Jodi Picoult's The Tenth Circle. I've heard some good reviews so I decided to check it out. I'll let you know once it's done. I'll probably obsess about it after I've finished reading it anyway. And then after that, New Moon! :)

Edward: I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you.
Bella: They’ll survive.
Edward: I may not give you back, though.

even more in love with me you'd fall

2008-06-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

It's June, already! My, my. How fast time flies. And how slow at the same time because I cannot wait to get my hands on Meyer's latest masterpiece: Breaking Dawn, in all its black and hardbound glory. Just look at the cover! Doesn't it make you wonder how on earth does a few chess pieces relate to the most awaited conclusion of the star-crossed lovers Edward and Bella's story? And Jacob! What will happen to him? I hope he won't get killed or anything. It's bad enough that Bella's marrying someone else and almost every Twilight fan despises him. I really really hope Stephenie Meyer has planned something more for him than just a tragic demise or a mysterious disappearance/fleeing. :(

I haven't actually blogged about my Twilight fetish. I think I just mentioned it in passing on one entry. So, forgive me if it's spilling for a bit right now. I've been meaning to write an entry exclusively about it but I just couldn't seem to find the time. Here I go again, blaming time when it's really indolence taking its sweet toll.

KIKAY ALERT! (Or is it? Hahaha!) I've been wanting so bad to have my nails done but I can't find the color I want! It's frusrating! Okay so my color choice is a bit bizarre and you might be grossed out but I'll tell you anyway. Hahaha. I want something similar to the color of dried blood or pencil lead. Weirded out much? Haha you tell me. XD

I'm checking out mp3 players, hoping to find a good one that comes in a reasonable price. It doesn't have to be capable of playing videos or storing pictures -- just a regular mp3 player will be perfect. I want to get it for someone very special :)

Enough of the babbling. I'm sleepy. Got an 8am class tomorrow. Goodnight!

Winner, winner. Chicken dinner.

2008-05-31T18:13:00.001+08:00

Jay and I watched 21 today. There weren't that much to choose from actually. He won't watch Sex and the City, I won't watch Indiana Jones, and both of us surely won't watch Caregiver. So it left us with this movie, then. Lol. Let me pretend to be a movie critic for a moment, okay? Here goes XD

The movie's about Ben Campbell (Jim Sturgess), an incredibly smart MIT student who, wanting to pursue his dreams of going to Harvard School of Medicine but couldn't afford its $300,000 worth of expenditure, joins a secret club of five students, all of whom are being trained by Ben's math professor Micky Rosa (Kevin Spacey) on card counting skills at black jack. Together, equipped with different identities, secret code talk and hand signals, the team goes on secret weekend trips to Las Vegas, and makes thousands of dollars a night, casino after casino. Lured by the money, the excitement, and the Vegas lifestyle, Ben becomes corrupted by greed and gets hooked for good. The shy guy who easily blends in the background, now steps in Vegas' spotlight - and casino security Cole Williams isn't just about to let the team go unpunished.

The movie's not only about the card action. Watching the characters as they use their math skills and count cards, practicing their secret code and hand signals will keep the audience going "Ooohh," all through out. It had a good share of action, too. Although I wasn't that much crazy over the chasing scenes. But it was definitely a fun ride. Threw in some sarcasm and humor through their sneaky lines and attitude, this movie will not lose your train of interest long enough until you realize the credits are already rolling.

Kevin Spacey was remarkable. I really loved the Monty Hall paradox scene. And did I forget to mention that it's Kate Bosworth in there? Although Jay can't seem to fathom my unrelenting admiration for the woman. Come on, it's Kate Bosworth! XD And Jim Sturgess has some Jake Gyllenhaal (did I spell it right?) features in him, don't you think? Or is it just me? Lol. Bottom line is, the movie's good. Humayo at panoorin. :)

Thanks to mi honey for treating me out today. It was really sudden, totally unplanned. I find it sweet that you managed to squeeze this in before things get pretty chaotic at school. I really appreciate it. And I'm still waiting for you to beat me on that game, though. 20K, baby! Kiddiiing! ILY!

So, how's school?

2008-05-28T17:43:00.006+08:00

Classes are back. At third year na ako. Damn. I still can't wrap my mind around it. Soon enough I'll be graduating. And for the first time, I don't feel all giddy and excited about it. Not at the moment, at least. I remember how I used to complain on how sick I am of being a student and how I would give anything to graduate in the earliest time possible, get the hell out of the hallways and classrooms, make my own moolah and just live the dream! But once you're getting closer and closer to the "goal", you suddenly find yourself wanting to come up with some way to slow it down for reasons even you yourself are not aware of. Do you guys agree or is it just me and my bizaaaaarre self? Hahaha whatev. Let's not turn this into a serious entry, ok? Ok, good.

I have 4 majors -- including one course-related elective -- and 2 floats (non-majors) this term. I'm a little (or you could say a lot) worried about how cruel this term's going to be. I mean, 4 majors? That's not humane! Lol. Even the floats aren't helping at all. One is related to history which I'm very certain I despised all throughout highschool. The other one is, well, theology. And ever since, I've always felt a bit awkward on my theology-related subjects simply because of the fact that I have different beliefs compared to what they are teaching in school. I find it difficult to absorb it, as well as convey my opinions without, err.. crossing the line. Anyway, enough of that. The majors are the ones I should pray for :)) So let's see:

ADVANDB (Advanced Database Concepts) INTRODB was its prerequisite and as far as I can remember, I enjoyed that subject even though it really gave me a hard time. I'm just not sure if I would feel the same regarding this one. I hope so.

COMPILE (Compiler Theory) I seriously don't know what to expect with this one. The project seems exciting -- the idea of creating our very own scripting language (though I still can't picture what the hell that is) is very amusing. I think this subject is the one I'm going to love and hate at the same time. XD

DIGIMAP (Image Processing) This is the elective I was referring to earlier. One of our prospective thesis topics is inclined to this field so I hope taking this course would be a bit helpful for us if ever we decided to push through with that topic.

STRESME (ST Research Methods) This course is the first of the four stages of the thesis program for the ST Department. The ultimate objective of this course is for us to produce an approved thesis proposal. This includes a lot of mock defense and presentations. Ick. Just the thought of the tedious work combined with the aggravating tension and fear of not getting approved. Blah. I really hope everything goes.. uhm, not too rash. We pronounce it as "STRESS ME", by the way. Lol.

It was really great seeing my blockmates again. I felt like I was somehow isolated from all of them over the summer because I was trapped (HAHA) in the secluded walls of the office I work at. And I missed being in the campus, too. Especially Planet Gokongwei. Hahaha. XD

Spilling the beans

2008-05-24T18:17:00.007+08:00

I'm done with my practicum. It was quite an experience. A shocker, I must say. I've never imagined that I would gain so much from it. I'd always thought about it as a waste of time, based on the stories I heard from people who already had theirs. They never did anything that would really qualify as OJT work at all. A friend told me his experience -- he was asked to make pad paper out of continuous sheets. For others, all they have to do was show up at the office doing apparently nothing and their hours would still count. It just became a formality, lacking so much depth. It didn't fulfill its purpose anymore.

Having heard so much negative remarks about the practicum, I really -- oh, and I mean REALLY -- hated it. I hated the fact that it would eat up my entire (I'm so not exaggerating here) summer break. I hated that I was the only intern from DLSU and the only intern under the IT unit (called iChannel) I was assigned to. I also hated the fact that iChannel is all about web development. Honestly speaking, I don't know anything about web development. I took that subject for granted back during my sophomore year. And this is the price I pay for doing so. To much of my dismay, not only do I have to be persecuted for being a web developer who doesn't know much (or anything!) about web development, but I have to do it using a language I've never encountered before. They were using programming languages which were nothing but foreign to me. I've never done anything using Visual Basic, ASP or SQL Server in my entire life. Oh, the horror. It's like asking me to rap in Chinese! And if those still weren't enough to tick me off, the fact that I am new, and a girl (because the entire IT floor seems to have female scarcity) would probably do the trick.

I spent each day of my first week glancing at the lower right portion of the screen from time to time to check if it's already 5:30pm and getting more and more impatient if it's not. I really felt like it was a punishment, in every sense of the word. I didn't know what I was doing. Every night when I get home from work, I'd have to search for tutorials that could help me with my tasks because internet access is very limited in the office. My communication skills has always been either a zero or a negative. Talking to people was never easy for me, let alone people from the opposite gender. That's why when I have a question, I spend 10 minutes debating with myself if I should ask someone about it or not. I'm fortunate that my boss and officemates are very friendly and approachable. I could see that they go out of their way to make me feel welcome in the group.

After quite a while, I started to learn the ropes. I realized I was actually having fun with tasks which require programming (yup, I'm a geek) even though it drains the energy out of me. The documentation, I still abhor but it's all good. I also started enjoying the company of some of my officemates. They would tell me their OJT experiences and how it was like for them during their first weeks at Security Bank. They'd tease me at how I seem to act older than most of them because they watch Gossip Girl and I don't. I still need to improve on my people skills though, because most of our conversations only happen if they initiated it.

There were a lot of times when I thought I was never going to make it. It seriously felt as though it was the longest summer of my life. But looking back at it now, I wouldn't have it any other way. The entire experience didn't just expose me to other people. It exposed me to ME. I didn't know there was this other side of me, just waiting to be found. Maybe in the coming months, I'd hang out with this side of me even more. Lol. God amazes me every time. He knew exactly the right mix of trials and hardships that would make us a better person. He certainly won't give us something He knows we can't handle. Just like what He did to Job. All we have to do is lift everything to Him and the dark clouds we once saw wandering our sky will soon disappear.

I'm still scared. But now, I'm willing to face that fear because I have God and the people I love to guide me every step of the way. Plus, you really can't appreciate the light unless you've been in the dark.

It's here.

2008-05-08T20:53:00.003+08:00

The official trailer finally exists. Watch it now. I'm really glad that there's The Host and Breaking Dawn. Or else I won't last 'til December XD

I seriously don't know what to type here.

2008-04-27T20:51:00.002+08:00

I originally planned on chronicling my practicum on a daily basis. But I never thought it would be this tough that at the end of each single day, I had no drive or any form of enthusiasm to stay up and write about it anymore. Do not get me wrong -- the people I work with are really nice. And I really think that they're doing everything they can to blot out all the uneasiness and fear which I'm sure they can sense from me. If there's anyone responsible for making this first week of practicum almost unbearable and slightly traumatic, that would be no one else but me. So, what happened anyway? Here are just fragments of my thoughts which I need to throw in here just to satisfy my desire to express and to unburden my already malfunctioning brain. LOL

The reason, I have to say, why the first week of my practicum was nothing but horrible for me is merely because of the fact that it's a form of change. Despite the ever famous and reiterated truth that change is constant, I was never a fan. I hate the feeling of not knowing what's going to happen next. I got so used to how I live my life every single day that even a tiny twitch in the order of things will cause me to freak out and be the drama queen that I've always hated myself for.

In many ways, the workplace is pretty similar to the familiar classrooms and hallways of the school grounds. The office is the new classroom, the employees would be the new classmates, and the boss would be like the professor. But despite having known this beforehand, why did it still make me feel like I'm in some reality fear factor-like show where I'm asked to place my hand in a box and touch whatever's in there while blindfolded?

This OJT experience touches some aspects of who I am which, until now, are kind of a blur to me. Let's just say it requires me to take deeper breaths because I have extra miles to walk. Or simply put, I need to step out of my comfort zone and brace myself for the unknown and the uncertain. It is really an unfamiliar territory and just the thought of it makes me flinch. But I figured, the real world is a much scary place. If I want to survive once I get there, then there's no other time to prepare for it than now. Because when I look at myself in the mirror, I'm certain that the person staring back at me won't last a single day.

I apologize for the rather vague delivery of this entry but I really can't go into details. I just need to place these thoughts somewhere else rather than my brain. I'm lucky that I have someone who does his best and patiently puts up with me whenever the drama queen resurfaces. He always carries half (or even more) of my burdens for me. Thanks, cupcake. I really don't know how I'd be able to make it without you. I love you.

What happened to the fragments of thoughts I was talking about earlier? XD

I just had to say this

2008-04-19T20:06:00.003+08:00

Jay and I are talking through SMS just now -- cracking up, fooling around and stuff like that. I was being funny - or at least trying to be - and teasing him when he suddenly replied with "Awww love u hon! D tau mag iiwanan promise" At first I got a bit confused. Are we on the same page? Did I miss out some messages? And so I asked him why, not that I'm complaining of course. Hehe. And he replied "Wala, inaassure lang kta" and some other mushy stuff I still can't stop smiling about. Yeee. Those random acts of affection and lambing smothered with lotsa cheesey cheese are definitely one of the things about that boy that gives me this giddy feeling inside of meeeeee. :)

Now that fellah, my friends, is definitely a keepah! ♥

Well, if it isn't the Boleyn whores.

2008-04-17T19:30:00.004+08:00

I know. I have a lot of updating to do. I've just been really lazy lately. I feel like I just want to stay in bed and listen to music excessively because I've been deprived to do that during the latter parts of the term. Well anyways, here's what happened to me in the last 2 days..

APRIL 16
Security Bank Interview
I came on time like they asked me to. Apparently the person who's supposed to interview OJT applicants is still in the middle of something so we, the OJT applicants, were asked to answer more exams for the meantime. I was exasperated at first because those tests they were asking me to take were the same ones I took previously for my application. And besides, as far as I am concerned, I'm done with the examination part. I took and luckily passed all of it. So I believe I was asked to come here this time for the interview, and not more exams. Apart from that, today is the course card distribution day. I guess part of me is still hoping that I could be done by the interview just in time for me to get all my course cards myself. So I got bummed out for a bit.

After taking deep breaths to calm myself down, I did what they told me to do and patiently waited for my turn for the interview. It took such a long time that I already got acquainted with one of the OJT applicants whom I took the exams with. Her name is Aida and as it turns out, she used to study in La Salle as well, but is now taking up Computer Applications in St. Benilde.

I think it was a little past 11am when we were called for the interview. I let out a little sigh of relief thinking that I'm that closer to getting it over with. But when I saw the function room where we will be interviewed at, my palms started to sweat and I started thinking "Can we have a few more minutes, please?" Yeah. I seriously thought of that. It makes me laugh right now thinking about it and typing it out. Anyway, so there were 3 of us who are going to be interviewed at the same time. It lessened the horror because I know the interviewer's attention wouldn't be solely on me. So that's a good thing. The interview didn't last long. The guy who interviewed us (sorry its just now that I realized that he didn't introduce himself to us so I can't provide a name) wasn't too formal with his questions so it wasn't difficult for us to respond without stuttering or choking in mid-sentence. And by the way, he was a bit bewildered at the fact that even though 2 of us are from Benilde and I'm from La Salle, we have never seen each other before. I just smiled and nodded politely because I guess its only us who could understand the fact that even though we spend every day of the week in the Taft area, it doesn't mean that we should be familiar with everybody. I mean, its not as small as it looks. My classes are usually at the building on the far end of DLSU, away from CSB and so I spend most of my school time there. Them, on the other hand, might have most of their classes on that big new building along Vito Cruz which is quite an excruciating walk from mine. So there, just a thought. Anyway, after the interview, we were sent back to the HR floor where I was told to wait for a call indicating the time and date of my first day as an intern.

And that was it. All the classes missed and the long hours of examination which tested my patience and endurance paid off. It felt really great to get into a company when you know you've worked so hard for it. :)

Course Card Distribution
After my interview in Security Bank, I immediately went to school. I arrived there at around 12:30pm. I was so dehydrated, exhausted that I feel like I'm going to pass out. The heat was just so unbearable. The Security Bank office was fully airconditioned and I was there for 4 hours and I was still freezing. When I came out, the heat emanating from the sun was just so angry. I had a major headache and I feel nauseated the rest of the day.

Well anyway, after so much struggle with the claiming of the course cards itself, I finally got my grades and I was more than happy with it. Maybe it's not dean's list-high but it's better than what I expected. The mere fact that I survived this term without any failures puts me in ecstasy. All the stress were so worth it.

Thank you Lord for these wonderful blessings. There were A LOT (I mean it!) of times when I was on the verge of quitting and just walking away. You know, stop looking for a job, stop working so hard on my projects.. just stop caring. Because somehow I felt like no matter how hard I try, the chances of me getting a company on time or passing a decent project are little, if not none. But you thought otherwise. You made me realize that if I just believe enough, I can achieve the things I need to do. You have the power to turn what I though was mess into pure gold. Thank you so much. I am more than grateful.

APRIL 17
So Security Bank already called me and they said I was to start working for my OJT on Monday. That means I have today until Sunday to immerse myself in all the bum stuff I do and could think of. That's 4 days of summer vacation. Oh my, its not even a week. How tragic. Hahaha. Anyway, today's summer vacation day 1 and my agenda for today? MOVIE! Jay and I watched The Other Boleyn Girl.

The movie was very different from the book. They changed and omitted many details. There were also some portions where the turning of the events was slow. One thing I liked about it though is that it somehow satisfied my fascination for those lovely corsets and huge ball gowns. Those dresses with thick and colorful layers of fabric makes me wonder what it would have been like if I was born in that era. But at the same time, I also thought of how unfair the treatment is to women during their time. I once again felt the pain of Lady Elizabeth Boleyn on the fate of her children. And I also loved how Queen Katherine of Aragon was portrayed in the movie. She's gentle but tough. Overall, I liked the movie. Plus, the leads were just gorgeous. Don't you agree? :)

After the movie, we bought another pair of slacks and a blazer which I will use for work. I can't believe I'm saying it. I'm going to work! Although not work work but still, work XD Better enjoy the vacation now while it's still here because I sure am going to miss it once it's gone.

Well, that's it. This entry is getting quite long already so I better shut up now :)

Goodbye, finals week!

2008-04-15T21:22:00.004+08:00

Can you taste the freedom yet? I can't! Haha cos I still have my OJT to worry about. Oh and my grades too, which will finally be made known tomorrow. Tenen! It's the dreaded and infamous course card day. I believe it's the one day in each term filled with fun and excitement for the professors, but agitation and remorse for the students. As for me, I have felt that same agitating and remorseful feeling just about every time. I know it doesn't help one bit because the grades are already written there. Feeling anxious and pacing through the corridors back and forth won't magically make your grade higher. But for some reason, students can't help it. Or at least I can't.

This term, however, I will be spared a third of this agony. Why? Security Bank called me earlier. They told me they have an opening and wanted me to be there tomorrow morning. That means I won't be present to claim my course cards for two of my subjects tomorrow. The rest will all be in the afternoon, which I believe I will be able to claim myself as I will be done with Security Bank then. Well anyway, I really hope this is THE one because I'm tired of playing patintero with the companies I've applied to. HAHAHA!

Wish me luck tomorrow! I'm guessing it's going to be one long day..

shuddering from shutter

2008-04-11T17:30:00.003+08:00

My RCBC hopes are ruined. HAHAHA. After a long morning of waiting and more waiting, I'm still jobless. What now? LOL. I'm depressed. Haha shut up, me. XD Anyway, I'm blasting my speakers with ~~music~~ err.. noise, so I wouldn't hear my thoughts. And now I sound like a stupid love song. Hahaha okay enough. XD

I hung out with Jay and Airi today after we job-hunted. Haha. We decided to watch a movie: Shutter :) It was so fun kasi pare-pareho kaming duwag and we were literally leaning on each other's shoulders and covering our faces throughout the entire movie. Hahaha we paid a good amount of cash just to scare our asses off. But I had fun! That was a good momentary relief of sadness. Haha baduy.

Thanks for the fun day, you two! Cos the events after that were not that pretty anymore. Haha! But that's okay. It's my fault anyways.

you slow it down

2008-04-10T22:45:00.006+08:00

Finals week is done! Okay not entirely because I still have one more exam on Monday but what the heck, I'm taking a fierce break! LOL I just watched Project Runway season 4 finale on youtube and Christian's been using the word "fierce" a lot on the show that it kinda become his trademark expression. Well anyway, so I watched the finale because I can't wait to see him win -- Oh I KNOW he's gonna win! He's so ferosh (he freaking invented that word)! :)) He's such a talent and the show would completely be lifeless without him! He's the gayest thing ever. So adorable! And he totally deserved the win. :)

Sarah and I were talking about light stuff -- you know, nothing serious and emotional to ease up on the stress and just cheer each other up. So yeah, we talked about tv shows for a bit and then Prison Break came up and here's what we said:

S: aun, ung prison break ko tapos na pala ang season 3
S: haii d ko pa napapanood
C: hnggang season 3 palang ba un?
S: opo
C: kala ko mdaming seasons na
S: ndi pa naman
S: para ngang wala na ehh kasi nasa labas na naman sila ehh
S: wala na sila sa prison
C: haha oo nga eh tapos na yung mismong prison break
S: dapat palitan na ung title
C: dpat prison broke na

XD I love it when Sarah and I share moments like this one :)

To continue my quest (hahaha!) for a job, Airi, Cat, and I will apply tomorrow at RCBC Makati. Jay will come with us. There's a possibility that they won't have room for interns anymore but I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed and hope that this is the last time I'll be handing in my resume.

..back to watching Project Runway XD

Oh, the horror.

2008-04-04T21:36:00.003+08:00

The sucky term is almost over! Fortunately, I got through the horrifying hell weeks alive and partially breathing. HAHA! The past 2 weeks were the ugliest of all. Here's what happened, as far as school is concerned:

March 24th-28th: Departmental Exam Week
I had my 2-part ALGOCOM exam for Monday and Wednesday, THEOCOM was on Tuesday and Thursday, and INTROOS that Friday. Yes, it was awful. I had an exam each day of the week. And to top it all off, the exam (yup, another exam) I was supposed to take for the company I was applying for (for my practicum) fell on that same week (Thursday). As a result, I missed the second part of my THEOCOM exam. I asked my professor if she could let me take a make-up exam for it and she was kind enough to agree, scheduling it the day after (Friday). So I had 2 exams that Friday, plus I attended a symposium for SOCTEC2 because we were required to do so. It was scheduled in between those 2 exams so maybe you can guess what I did throughout the duration of it -- SLEEP. Thankfully, everything turned out okay.

The weekend after that was also stressful. I had projects due to coming week and I'm juggling them all at once. My fault, I know. I wasn't even able to attend Church and do my duties there because I was running out of time. Gratefully, Pastor Jon was considerate about it. He even gave me some readings entitled "How to Win over Stress" and "When You Are Under Pressure". It didn't cure my panic attacks right away. But it gave me hope. And hope is not something you want to not have.

March 31st - April 4th: Project Demonstration Week
This, for me, is the ugliest week of the term :)) I have 3 project demonstrations due that week. Monday, I took the 2nd set of exams for my OJT application. Tuesday, I submitted and demonstrated my machine project for GRAPHIX. Wednesday we presented our topic for the ALGOCOM Symposium. I think our group has the LARGEST number of attendees so you could just imagine the horror me and my groupmates went through. Haha. Thursday was my break day. I have nothing due that day. Friday, we had our project demonstration for INTROOS. We were asked to familiarize ourselves in using a different operating system (Linux/Unix) by performing basic operations via the terminal window. I chose Ubuntu because Jay already has a cd of it so I didn't have to download it from the net. It turned out pretty okay.

Now I'm relaxing a bit. Enjoying the little me time that I could possibly have before I start studying for finals. So there, I just gave an update on how I wasted the past 2 weeks of my life with school. Hahaha! As much as I want to stay as far as possible from it this summer and just have fun, I really want to get my practicum over with. So job openings, anyone? Talk about desperate. XD

Oh, would you look at that?

2008-03-15T16:18:00.002+08:00

Are those cobwebs hanging around the corners of my blog? Geeeez. I really never learn.

New look for mi bloggie. Whatever, just so I could really call this thing mine. Maybe this is why I don't want to leave Blogger and settle for a different host everytime such idea would cross my mind. Blogger allows full manipulation of the layout which for me is a way of expressing one's individuality! :) It's not only through entries that you could speak your mind, you know. And I love Blogger for acknowledging that. Hooray for Blogger! Haha LABO

I'm supposed to be revising our ALGOCOM Technical Paper right now but I can't seem to get around to it so.. I don't know, maybe later? :))

I'm officially broke! I'm starting (yeah right) to save up now because I broke my glasses and I need a spare one in case I break the other one, too. I know I'm a big klutz and so I want to have enough money to replace the one I broke. I'm still using the broken one, though. I just have to be extra careful so that the part with the lens sticking out won't hit my eye. LOL okay just scratch what I said cos I really suck at describing things in detail. I'm sure whatever it was that you were imagining is a lot worse than what my broken glasses look like because of the way I said it. Hahaha

Do you guys know the Twilight series? :) I've read all three books already and I really loved it. That's part of the reason why I'm broke, btw. 2 out of the 3 books are still in hardbound edition and it's just not possible to wait for the paperback ones just to save cash. HAHA!! Well anyway, it's really a great read because it has the right mix of romance, mystery, humor.. everything. Who could resist Edward Cullen, anyway? :) But I love Jacob Black, unlike a lot of Twilight fans who absolutely despise him. He's funny, charismatic, and is not afraid to use those charms of his. What's there to hate? Haha! And it's going to be adapted into a movie. I hope they stay faithful to the novel because I'd hate another good book put to shame by its film adaptation. Oh well, we'll see. Some have even predicted that its going to kick Harry Potter off its record or whatever but in case that happens, at least I won't be left out anymore like I was whenever Harry Potter and the gang would grace the silver screen. LOL

I'll blab some more next time. I'll do my ALGOCOM paper now. Seriously. :))

In the past week, I have learned that..

2008-02-23T20:25:00.003+08:00

..God works on His own time. He is never too late nor too early. He is always on time. Things happen according to His will and we should never complain if our prayers haven't been answered yet because He knows what's best for us. All we have to do is put our faith in Him. Let Him have the stirring wheel of our lives and -- trust me on this one -- everything will eventually fall into place. It might not be the way we imagined it but believe me, it's even better.

..whenever I would buy something which won't be available for another day or two, I should ALWAYS get a phone number that I could keep in touch with in case unexpected circumstances occur.

..I'm still very happy to be spending the last 15 months with Jay. We're not really your ideal couple. We still fight and disagree about things but what Jay and I have is special and unique that in the end of an argument, it all feels worth it. And it just drives me even more to work hard and maintain this relationship. Relationship requires work. But if you love the person you're with, the work part will come out naturally.

..POTUS really does stand for President of the United States.

..some people really are not comfortable in my presence. I somehow emit a vibe that makes them so repellent to me. I don't know why. To them, I'm not exactly Ms. Congeniality. Maybe I should smile wider, perhaps? Or talk more often? I'm cool with the smiling, but the talking needs some more work and research(what the??).

..a piece of heaven is actually here on Earth and it goes by the name of Fully Booked.

..I've never felt so loved and in love as I do now.

2008-02-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

It's been a week since I last updated this blog. I think my updates will mostly be on a weekly basis from now on because I really don't have much leisure time at the moment. Oh well. It's better than a hiatus, right? :)) When I find some free slots on my schedule in the middle of the week, then I'll update. Well anyway, I just want to thank everyone who prayed for Jay's recovery. He was discharged from the hospital last Tuesday :) He's getting better now and I'm really glad he didn't undergo blood transfusion. Praise God for that. Thank you, everyone. REALLY. Your prayers, messages, and support mattered :)

This past week was the Job Expo 2008. This time, it was not only for us, interns, but also for those who are graduating and are interested in full-time employment right after graduation. Okay so I'm gonna stop here because I've been going to that job fair every single day of the past week and I'm kinda sick of it already. The last thing I want to do right now is talk about it. So, moving on..

Today was the first day of my ministry :) I was somewhat nervous at first because I don't know what would their reaction be and if they will accept me. Fortunately, when I was speaking in front, they were listening attentively. It wasn't so bad, after all. I think I'm going to like it there. And I'm always grateful to Ptr. Jon who is always there, guiding me and believing in what I can do. Thank you for giving me this opportunity.

On a lighter note..

Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones will be made into a movie. That's what I heard, at least. And it will be released next year. I also heard that that girl from Atonement (not Keira Knightley, the younger one) will be playing the lead role in the film adaptation of Sebold's lovely masterpiece. Well anyway, I hope they do the novel justice.

Well that's it for today, I have a big THEOCOM test tomorrow to study for. BYE!

There's hope.

2008-02-03T19:53:00.000+08:00

I was thinking about going on hiatus because things aren't exactly cheerful and happy these past weeks and blogging about it would only seem emphasizing on how messy(pls do not ask me to elaborate on that) things are.. until now. There are things that happened today which changed the depressing course of my week. Things that transpired not to make me feel bad, but rather, it made me feel good about myself and my life. And most importantly, it gave me hope. Hope is good, you know. We could always use a little hope in our lives. Even just one spark of it can make a huge difference in one's life. And today I saw that. I witnessed hope.

Today was the Blood Letting Activity on our church. Representatives from Red Cross were there. I have never donated blood in my entire life. And now, I wanted to try it. It is actually included on the things I want to do this year. So I gave it a shot and to my sheer delight, the doctor said that I am eligible for blood donation :) I laid down on one of the beds they had set up and the nurse started checking on my veins. She kept shaking her head in disapproval. I got confused and asked why. She said, "Masyadong manipis yung ugat mo." Manipis. Is it bad? Will it break if she stick the needle in? Will I be not able to donate blood forever? Haha silly, I know but that's what's going through my head that time. Anyways, she tightened the rubber band wrapped around my arm to have a clearer view of my veins, tapped my arms a couple of times.. and SHOOK HER HEAD AGAIN. Oh my. This is bad. And then she said, "Try lang natin. Pag hindi kinaya ng ugat mo ititigil ko na. Masyadong manipis ugat mo eh." So I nodded. She also said that it's gonna be more painful than how it normally is kasi sa gilid na vein nya itutusok dahil yun na daw ang pinakamakapal (which is manipis pa ren) out of all my veins. >_< style="font-weight: bold;">own blood. I'm telling you, ANG COOL NIYA TIGNAN! :)) And it felt great too! While I was lost in my own world staring at my flowing blood, the nurse interrupted my fantasy by saying, "Tatanggalin ko na, hindi kaya ng ugat mo. Magcocollapse ka." And so she did. I wasn't able to finish the whole thing because their needles are too huge for my veins. :( Pero I won't give up! Maybe I'll go directly to Red Cross to donate blood because they have needles of various sizes there and they could find one that would fit my veins just fine. :) I may sound insane here but I don't care. I really want to be a regular blood donor. That's the least I can do to help, right?

After that, Pastor Jon talked to me and asked for my response to his offer. If you have been reading my previous entries, I mentioned there somewhere that I was called to God's work. This was it. So, he asked and I said yes. I accepted the offer. I do not want to go into details yet but soon enough, I'll be able to. I think that's the thing I lacked last year -- balance. And so now I'm making things right by letting the Lord use me in His work. It's just about to start and I still don't know what to expect. But I know that God is with me and that's really all I need to know right now. :) To God be the glory!

It really is true that when you heed God's call, He has something in return to give to you. I didn't expect a blessing right away because I haven't even started on my ministry yet. But nevertheless, I almost cried when I received the news. It was about Jay. His health improved! He's been hospitalized for a week now and all we hear are sad news. No positive changes at all. Not until now. And there's actually a possibility that he may be discharged from the hospital some time this week. Isn't that wonderful? I believe that's just one of God's many blessings to me for following His call. Thank you, Lord!

These 3 events of the day gave me hope. And I'm going to hold on to this hope for the challenges to come.

Fun's over.

2008-01-28T21:54:00.000+08:00

We had a job fair in school last week. It was particularly for us, incoming 3rd year Computer Science students specializing in Software Technology, who are about to have our internship this summer. There were companies like CAI-STA, Procter & Gamble, Orange & Bronze, Pointwest, PDC, & Accenture who set up booths for inquiry and submission of resumes and application forms. Also, each company had the chance to present to us an overview of how the work would be like in their respective companies if they hire us -- as an intern and as an actual employee.

To be truthful, I am thrilled about the fact that I would soon be exposed to an actual working environment and will have the chance to prove myself effective in the IT world. I would also be able to apply all the knowledge and skills I have learned from the 6 terms I've spent in school. And I would be able to assess if I am fit for this career and if I will last in this industry.

On the other hand, while one half of me feels all jittery and excited about my internship, the other feels all lonesome and troubled. What if's are starting to pile up in my itsy bitsy head. What if I mess up? What if my boss and/or co-workers didn't like me? What if I didn't make a good impression? What if I can't do what they asked me? OR WORSE.. What if I didn't get hired by any company AT ALL??

And then it hit me. This is not a joke anymore. Play time's long gone and it's time to get serious. We're talking about work and real jobs here now. There should be absolutely no room for fun and games. This internship is going to predict how my future would be like. I can't just relax and take things easy. I must work hard and put my heart into everything I'm gonna be doing. No room for mistakes and erasures. I cannot afford even a single ink blot on the paper.

Here I go, being too hard on myself again. I really should stop hitting my head with a hammer shouldn't I?

I don't have much time..

2008-01-21T18:23:00.000+08:00

..so here are just 5 things I could share for now :)

1. Second year, Term 3 has started last January 7th. The 1.5-hour class scheme has officially started. And personally, although I have only 4 days of classes every week, I'd still prefer the regular Monday-Friday schedule. Kasi ngayon, my classes are all in the afternoon. My last class ends at 4:10pm everyday. Feeling ko ang unproductive ko pag ganun kasi by the time I get out of school, the day is about to end. Unlike last term, I'm free na by 1pm palang. Sometimes 11:30 pa. Eh ang dami ko pang majors this term. Plus other issues pa. Ang pinakamasaklap pa, conflict sched namin ni Jay :( Whoo. Must cope and manage time wisely.

2. I was in Hong Kong from the 11th until the 13th to celebrate my birthday with my family. Sobrang fun pero nakakapagod din at the same time. Parang lagi kaming nagmamadali kasi we have to fit everything in 3 days. Nevertheless, it was quite an experience. Thanks to my family for that wonderful birthday gift :) My favorite was the Victoria Peak. Luck just wasn't with us when we went there because the fog was too thick and we couldn't see the city lights. But the place, minus the fog of course, is very, very romantic.

3. Sweeney Todd - Ang fabulous nitong movie na to. At first I couldn't imagine why it was given an R-18 rating because well, it's just a musical. :)) But heck, ang morbid pala niya. Parang Happy Tree Friends! I love it! :)) And yung storyline din maganda :) Galing galing.. Another successful film by the Tim Burton-Johnny Depp tandem. LOVE:)

4. I was given an opportunity to be used in God's work. Honestly, it scares me. But I want to give it a try. I don't know. Pinagppray ko pa kung talagang para sakin. Sabi nga nila, opportunities like this don't come around too often so it might be a shame if I pass on the chance eh andyan na nga sa harap ko, kukunin ko nalang. But I still can't decide. I really want to know for sure if it's what God wants for me. I'm still praying for it. In Jesus' name..

5. LOST - I am currently hooked on this show. I started watching it last Christmas vacation when Jay was in U.S. I haven't finished the first season pa because busy din ako nung Christmas eh. Pero it's fun to watch:) It has a different feel to it, unlike the other shows na puro love story and all. Ito sci-fi naman :D Also, interesting din yung story niya. Haha so yun. Hopefully I can finish it before they release a 4th season. Omayshemay how am I gonna do that?? Ohwell.

I'd love to blab some more but I must go now. I still have to study THEOCOM for a serious test tomorrow. I'll try to update more often from now on (here I go again LOL) Well anyway, goodnight!

2008-01-10T20:02:00.000+08:00

I WILL BE OUT FOR THE WEEKEND TO AGE. :)) WON'T BE UPDATING FOR A WHILE (OH LIKE I'M NOT, ALREADY). WILL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE NEW (SUCKY) TERM AND OTHER STUFF WHEN I GET BACK (AND IF I DON'T GET TAMAD AGAIN). XD

KTHANKSBYEALL!

Year-ender '07

2008-01-03T21:19:00.000+08:00

I know it's a little late for a year-ender entry, but what the heck, I was busy. :P So I'm gonna still write one anyway now that I have quite a few time in my hands.

This time, my year-ender entry will not contain the events that made my 2007 a fun year. Rather, I would like to show gratitude to the people who made it happen :)

First of all, to GOD. Throughout the year, I can definitey say that He really didn't leave me. I have made tough decisions spiritually, but despite everyone thinking that the choices I made were wrong, GOD thought otherwise. He stayed by my side and made felt His presence to me all the time. People might not understand but as long as GOD does, it's more than enough for me.

To all my friends, for simply staying. Trust me, I have had my share of people storming out of my life and so it meant a lot that there were some who stood by me no matter what. We don't get to hang out and be with each other as often as before but the friendship, it's still there. It does not depend on how often we see each other or how many laughters shared but it's how secure our friendship is that when something ugly happened to either one, the other WILL BE THERE. No second thoughts.

To my sister Sarah, for not giving up on me. I am really lucky to have someone like you. Although you have friends of your own now and they probably know you more than I do, you never took me for granted. You still treat me as someone significant. Thank you for staying with me. I hope that this 2008, our friendship would grow deeper. I love you, sis!

To Jay, my better half <3, this year wouldn't be that meaningful without you. Looking back at the past year, a lot of my most cherished moments were shared with you. Before you came, I was a mess. I wrapped myself in anger and gloom which isolated me from.. well, from me. Almost everyone gave up on me. I was hopeless. But then you came and just.. made me stop hating. It's like you unlocked the door that's keeping me away from who I really am. You used to say that my blog is like a series of codes which you can't stop deciphering. Well what can I say, you got me all figured out now. And I love how it feels. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. No one has ever made me feel that way ever before. I love you so much.

To my family, who always does everything to provide me with everything I need. They have loved me unconditionally and made sacrifices for me. Although there are times when I mess up and disappoint them, they never made me feel like I owe them something. I realized that it's me who's pressuring myself to impress them. It's ike I want to them to be proud of me so that I can assure myself that somehow, I deserve the things they're giving me. I should really learn not to be too hard on myself anymore because I know that my family loves me for who I am, not who I'm trying to be.

K so nagmukha namang thank you speech sa famas yung year-ender entry ko XD But looking at my 2007, it's way waaaaay better than any famas award :P (Or maybe because I'm not into acting hahaa)

Have a rockin' 2008, everyone!

2007-12-26T22:57:00.001+08:00

This past week has been really busy, that I don't even have time to do the things I planned on doing :( I'm so tired every day that when I go back to my room all I want to do is take off my shoes and doze off. There are lots of things to do around the house especially at this time of year and so I thought my family could use an extra pair of hands. So I made myself useful and it's been fun but it's tiring as well. I don't even get to read the books I plan on reading because by the time I'm lying on my bed, my eyes are already begging to be shut.

But nevertheless, it has been fun. It's what keeps me from going insane from missing Jayjay so much. I hope he's having fun, too. We weren't able to talk to each other during the peak of the holidays (24th and 25th) because we both have family commitments and cannot find the time to chat and greet each other merry christmas. So this morning, I was really really overwhelmed when I saw him online I almost fell off my chair! We missed each other so much that we talked (err, chatted) for 4 hours! But I still feel that it wasn't enough. We were forced to log off though because he still has to get some sleep. I enjoyed our conversation, honey! I can't wait to have you back here with me! I love you!

Just a little update before I call it a day :) Goodnight!

Santa Baby

2007-12-20T16:25:00.000+08:00

1. iPod earphones - I broke mine because I, as naive *EHEMstupidEHEM* as I have always been, have the habit of putting my iPod in my bag. And this bag, which I often use for school, apparently has magnets everywhere. So my earphones got whacked and I've got nothing to use. I want the classic one. Not the new one that Apple makes these days. Mas madaling masira yun e.

2. Philippa Gregory's The Queen's Fool - This is the sequel to Gregory's beautiful masterpiece, The Other Boleyn Girl. I don't know why but I became so fascinated with England's royalties. Especially King Henry's life. Oh well. Must get my hands on that book. LOL

3. COMPLETE 2nd Season of Heroes on DVD - I bought one a few weeks ago but it's only up to the 5th episode. Grrrrr. I want this so bad. I'm dying to know what happened next! Hahaha

4. A fantabulous laptop bag - Ang boring kasi nung ginagamit ko ngayon eh. Madami ren sa school na katulad nung akin yung bag so baka alam mo na, magkapalit. Wahahaha reasons. Okay fine, I'm busted. I just want a stylish one, okay? Hahahaaaaa

5. 2008 Planner - this has already been scratched off my list, thanks to my honey :) I love youuuuuuuu!

6. A phone call from Jay - Impossible? I hope not. I've been trying to stay online for as long as I can because he might be online as well. That's our only means of communication, unless he would be able to call me. Hay I miss him so much. It's good to know that he's been having fun and been going to lots of places. At least I have something to tell myself whenever I get sad, which is probably all the time. Hehe.

7. Dad - He's gone for 4 months now. His trips usually last for 2-3 months. So he seriously needs to come home. And he will :) On the 22nd or 23rd. Yeeeyy!

Okay, apparently that's all I can think of from the top of my head :) I'll just update when I think of things to add. Hahaha as if :)

Anyhoo, goodnight!

I'm gonna miss you!

2007-12-19T08:28:00.000+08:00

Ack. The cold is finally starting to sink in. Not only because of the holidays, but more importantly, it's because I don't have MY someone to spend the holidays with. Why is that, you ask? It's because MY someone is not here. He's out there somewhere with his family, and I won't be able to see him again for the entire vacation. He's going to be back on January na. It's pathetic to be mourning about it, I know. But trust me, I've tried so hard not to dwell on it, but it's really not something you can just look past at. This is our 2nd christmas as a couple but neither of those christmases were actually spent together. Okay okay. I should really stop looking at the black dots on the paper. What's more important is that he's gonna be back home to me soon, right?

Anyway, I just got my course cards yesterday. And thankfully, I passed all my subjects :) I'm already done with half of my college journey and hopefully I will survive the other half as well.

---------------------

To: Someone I owe so much

I'm really sorry. No matter how much you say that it wasn't, it still really is my fault. Kahit sinasabi mo na hindi ka galit at okay lang sa'yo yung nangyari, I can still tell na masama pa rin ang loob mo. I couldn't blame you, really. You have all the right to be upset. Let alone mad at me. You don't know how much I hate myself for what happened. I know that no matter what I do, it won't change what already happened. If I just could, believe me I would. I should have listened to you. I was so stubborn and I even got mad at you for doubting me. But in the end, your doubts were right. You see, I'm not that great after all. I'm really, really sorry. I love you.

From: ME

2007-12-07T20:34:00.000+08:00

I'M DEPRESSED. :'(

Finals week is coming up. In 3 days. I'm so unprepared. And so tired. Dead tired. Need to focus. But so can't. :'(

I'm a freaking workaholic.

2007-12-05T20:33:00.000+08:00

The big INTROSE software is over. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's the subject that has been eating up most of my time these past weeks. It caused me an unimaginable amount of stress. And now that it's done, I'm happy, ofcourse. Because I won't have to stay up late anymore when my body wants to sleep already. Because I won't have to formulate algorithms in my head on how to fix the software bugs. Because I won't get to harass Nutty with lines and lines of programming codes anymore. Because my other subjects won't suffer anymore due to lack of attention given because INTROSE STOLE IT. Because I can finally think of MYSELF, and do what I WANT. Okay, not really. because there's still finals week and other majors to think of. But INTROSE has really been a major burden. And I'm just happy because I got through it. Now I can focus better on my other subjects, especially the ones that suffered big time because I wasn't able to make time for it since INTROSE TOOK IT ALL. Damn, INTROSE. If you were just alive and walking, I'd crush you to pieces. You're a major pain in the ass. But I got through with you in one freaking piece. So I only have 2 words for you: TAKE THAT. XD

Okay so I may sound like a freaking dork for blogging about my school works in that manner. But hey. First of all, this is my blog so I can talk about monkeys, aliens or whatnots for all you care. (If there's even a you reading this) And second, these thoughts have long been trapped in my head. What better (and easier) way to let it loose than to blog about it, right?

RANT ALERT.

Weeks have passed and you didn't hear a thing from me. Although every part of me wants to scream and get mad, I didn't. I held back my anger and gave you the benefit of the doubt. Why? Because I know you're not like that. But I was wrong. DEAD WRONG. You are like that. Moreover, you twist things to your advantage. And now, you're trying to redeem yourself by "making up" for it. Well sorry to burst your bubble but the damage has been done. You cannot rewind things or undo the damage. I'm now on the process of mending it but this time, it will be sturdier, and repellant to people like you. And besides, it's over now. You got what you wanted out of it. Out of ME. I hope you're happy.

RANT OVER.

Whooo. XD

sort of hiatus nanaman

2007-11-30T18:05:00.000+08:00

As you can see, I'm kind of back to not updating AGAIN. I guess it's pretty obvious that my relaxing days are over. Yes. School, especially my majors, has been getting me preoccupied for the past weeks (or month maybe?). Actually, I'm supposed to be doing our INTROSE project right now, but my mind stopped functioning and I can't continue programming at the moment. So, here I am, blogging. Let me just list the things which I failed to blog about for the past weeks (at the top of my head).

1. Jay celebrated his birthday a few weeks ago. It was a busy day for the both of us and we so we weren't able to do something special that day. I'm really sorry, hon. But I hope you were happy nevertheless. Happy birthday, Hon! I love you!

2. Nutty was diagnosed with left and right hinge defects. So we (Jay, Mom, and I) got him fixed. I guess he's been stressed out as well due to all the harassment he's been getting from my school works. :( But he's okay now :)

3. I already enrolled online for term 3. I'm gonna have afternoon classes. DEMN. 1.5 class hours suck. But still, sana di masira sched ko :(

4. I haven't slept decently for the past two weeks.. and it's going to continue still for the weeks to come. O_O Grabe it's only what, 2 weeks na lang before term break and I still have a huge pile of work to do.

5. One Tree Hill is back with it's 5th season! Ack! I can't wait!!

6. I want to read The Other Boleyn Girl na! I want to have a HEROES marathon! I want to go shopping at Greenhills! I want to sleep! I want to spend time with my friends! I want to do a non-school related activity with Jay for an entire day! But I can't seem to find the time *sob* Ang dami ko gusto gawin pero hindi pwede kasi di ko matatapos mga school works ko. KADIRI. Christmas break, I need you now!!! I'm freaking desperate!!!

utter bliss

2007-11-30T16:57:00.000+08:00

Thank you for the immeasurable love you've given me. You cared for me so much for the past year that I feel I don't deserve it anymore. Thank you for accepting who I am, and not ever trying to change it. Thank you for always thinking about what's best for me (like the way you worry so hard about what would happen to me on my OJT as early as now)

As Pablo Neruda would put it, "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply without problems or pride.." That's how I love you, hon. You made my heart soar and leap in sheer delight. Knowing you has changed the course of my life and I love how everything turned out.

I really, really hope that I still find your hand clenched with mine at the end of the journey. Let's walk this road called life together! <3 Thank you for one blissful year, honey. I love you so much! :*

P.S. And thank you for the book you gave me. It's the most beatiful story ever written. I hope it never ends. :) I love you!

2007-11-05T06:35:00.000+08:00

Ayan, naiinis nanaman ako. Whoooo!! Why? Cos of them! Fine. So they really know how to get in my freaking nerves, alright. Cos it never fails every time. *CLAP!* Don't worry, I won't pull your hair out. I'm not that evil (or maybe just discreet XD). Eto na lang: Sana wag dumaan si Santa sa bahay nyo this Christmas Eve! Hmmmph! XP Haha braaaaaat. Di tayo bati. Che! Muhahaha!! XD

I'm relaxing right now.

2007-11-01T11:36:00.000+08:00

Damn. Just saying it gets me high! I'm freaking relaxing! Could you believe it?? The Panic Queen is finally taking a breather. She's not going under so much pressure. Well not at the moment, at least. Haha :)) But I don't care! I'm glad I get to taste the goodness of slacking and doing the thing I'm really good at: bumming around :))

I had so much fun today. Jay and I had a date in La Casita (a cafeteria at La Salle). I enjoyed it so much! I don't usually mention things like these in my blog but I had an argument with Jay yesterday. No, not an argument. It was actually a fight. A big one. But before the day ended, we made up and today, we dated! Yeeee I love it! It might sound (actually, it really is) cheezy but no matter how bad the fight is, the making up part makes all the pain and tears worthwhile (that's a lotta make's!). The sweet will never be as sweet without the sour. :) Did that make sense? Hahaa basta. The feeling's too immense that no words can give justice to its depth. Just keep in mind that I loooooooooove that boy, k? <3 And I missed La Casita's mango crepe! It's actually the nearest place where I can buy something that perfectly satisfies the cravings of my taste buds. LOL

Anyway, I finished reading The Kite Runner that Mr. Humalit had been asking us to read. I love its tragedy. Sad stories make good books, you know. And aside from that, it's very informative. It showed me a much clearer picture of Afghanistan during the war. There really are a lot of unimaginable things happening in Middle East countries. There's more to it than just bombings and killings. A very remarkable novel. I applaud the author (Khaled Hosseini) for it. I'm thinking of reading A Thousand Splendid Suns tuloy. :)

A few days ago, I was invited by a friend to come to her debut. I asked her when is it, she said it's gonna be on February of next year. I paused for a moment. And then a thought suddenly hit me: Hers is on February, while mine's on January. And heck, I'm not even making the slightest of plans for it! Muhahahaha! :)) So much for trying to be a girl wahahaaaaaa! :))

I think that would be enough for an update :) Good night!

pavement picasso

2007-10-27T12:55:00.000+08:00

Dad informed us that he's not coming home anytime soon. Most probably he's going to be with us on December na. He had been out of the country since August, if I remember it correctly. He couldn't come home because he's piled up with a lot of work and his boss might not let him be with us on Christmas that's why he did not insist on coming home this time anymore.

That made me -- and most especially my Mom -- sad. I miss my Dad and the house doesn't possess the kind of enthusiasm it does when Dad is around. Cheesy, I know, but very true. Especially for a family of three. Each other's presence is very important.

I miss him. I want him to come home. But I still don't know how to tell him about Jay. Oh the dilemma.

Jay and I found this great YouTube video awhile ago. It features the works of an amazing artist that goes by the name of Julian Beever. He paints the streets and pavements with chalk. When you take a photo of it in a 90-degree angle, it looks 3D! They are just breathtaking. Check it out!

I have so many worries. I can't help it. Whenever I have some deadline to meet or a task to finish, I worry that I might not be able to accomplish it. I know it doesn't help at all but I really can't control it. I worry, worry, worry. After that, I panic.That's when things really get out of hand. I lose focus and my worries actual become real. Waa it's driving me insane! I'm lucky to have Jay calming me down everytime. He's my morphine. He releases me from the pain and agony of excessive worrying. Damn I have issues.

ANYWAY..

Happy birthday, Owa! Thanks for keeping in touch. It meant a lot. I hope you had a great birthday. Naku last year mo na pala. Next year twenTEEN ka na. Pakabait ka na ha? Hahaha joke lang. I miss you! Happy birthday :)

AND OF COURSE..

Happy 11th month, partner! We really have been through a lot! Just saying it makes me feel like it's an understatement! I am really lucky to have you. Thank you for the love. Thank you for being an inspiration. Stick around some more, k? I can't wait to celebrate our very first anniversary. I love you so much!

This is not ranting... yet. LOL

2007-10-20T12:03:00.000+08:00

School has just gone from bad to mean to pure evil. >_< And that's not just me. Jay is also feeling school's humongous weight these days. From nights of lack of decent sleep to cramming to go to school the morning after. From not being able to review to getting a failing mark in a major(!) subject. From huge zits and black circles around the eyes to an insane increase in caffeine consumption. Jay and I have experienced all those things in such an awfully short period of time. Oh the heartaches of being a student.

Hay.

The only thing I have that keeps me from losing it is Jay and messages from my friends who i haven't talked to for I don't wanna know how long. You know who you guys are. :) Special thanks to my sister, Sarah, for always constantly checking up on me and praying for me. And most especially to Jay, who stayed with me every step of the way. I kind of have a lot of disappointments in myself, but you never stopped believing in me. You don't know how much it helped me endure each day. I love you both so much! <3

Oh yeah, and Grey's! McSteeeaaamy.

La Salle won during the games that matter most.

2007-10-08T09:20:00.000+08:00

La Salle won against UE! It's a freaking sweep! Damn, I'm still in deep awe. The game was sooo intense I wish I had witnessed it with Jay at the big dome. Well anyway, enough with the whining. After last season's events, DLSU definitely made a huge comeback! Two thumbs waaaaaay up for the Green Archers! That's a whole year of bragging rights! Wahaha! So pano ba yan, no classes tomorrow? HAHAHA! Proud to bleed GREEN!

You get that we hate you, right?

2007-10-06T04:25:00.000+08:00

Looove that line. :)

MONDAY - Mom's birthday! After school, Jay and I bought mom cake and flowers :) Happy birthday, Mama! I love you so big! We ate at home together. I love it. I just hope my Dad was there, too. And by the way, my mom's age? Forty-something! Hahahaa that's what she wants me to say! LOL

TUESDAY - Stayed at school the entire day for my COMSORG Departmental Exam 1 at night. I wasn't so confident with my answers. Boo :/

WEDNESDAY - Market Week for TREDTWO. The lines were crazy! We ran out of slots for MyZoo. So we got CUPA, instead. After that, had HUMALIT (which was my only class for the day for some reason), and then did the SRS Document for INTROSE with my groupmates for the rest of the afternoon. Jay and I went home afterwards.

THURSDAY - I hate this day. There were lots of cramming and panicking in the morning. Jay and I almost got late for TREDTWO. We were hurrying so bad because we have 3 quizzes. When we got there, the class was just about to start. And there was no quiz! :/ The next events were crappy and I don't want to remember it anymore. Although after that, I find myself screaming my lungs out in front of the television with Jay at the DLSU-UE Game 1. Yeeeaahh we won! Although it was a struggle, it definitely still is a win! Hoooraaah!

FRIDAY - We had an exam for SCIMATP. And then lectures for the rest of the subjects. Jay and I went home or lunch and Jay went back to school for BISPROC. And now I'm waiting for him, while typing this. :)

7 more weeks, baby. <3

I miss Sarah.

sudden layout change

2007-09-27T21:53:00.000+08:00

So here, new layout. I don't know why. I mean, I love the previous one but there's just a lot of things going through my mind and the next thing I know, I had gone mad in using Adobe Photoshop once again and thus, coming up with a cork board. Huh? I know that didn't make even the littlest of sense. Anyway, this is not finished yet, I guess. I don't really have a mental picture of what the entire thing is going to look like. I just want some outlet of emotions from a lot of stuff happening lately. Oh, the drama.

School's a bitch once again. BOO. And I can't even muster adequate energy and interest to actually deal with it. Grr. And we lost during the playoff today against ADMU. More boo.

My phone gave up on me. I've only had it for almost a year and I couldn't open it. :( Is that how bad I am in handling my stuff? :/ I hope not. Anyway, I got a new one the other day. I named her Flaky. :) I learned my lesson na, I'll take care of Flaky!

Jay and I celebrated our 10th month last Sunday. That's the only thing that made me happy this week.

Such a lame update. My apologies, I feel lame. LOL

Pressure! >___<

How many angels can dance at the tip of a needle?

2007-09-19T06:53:00.000+08:00

The first week of term 2 was okay. School work is just starting so I'm trying to control things as early as now by getting it done before things start to pile up. I hope I could manage. The burden was also lessened because there will only be two machine projects for the term. The rest would be exams and papers, I guess. I hope everything goes well. I reeaaaaally do.

Today's the DLSU-ADMU play off and I'm at home, watching it. The Batch Assembly provided a live feed at Gokongwei building for free but Jay has class and I needed to go home for the passport. Anyway, Jay's gonna come over after his class which is not until 5:50 pm O_O

A birthday shout out goes out to KIM PATRICK TORT (September 13)! I miss you, Mr. Valedictorian! :D I hope you're doing okay. I hope we could catch up sometime. Happy birthday! Godbless. :)

[edit]
LA SALLE WON! ANIMO! :D
[/edit]

P.S. My entry title is just a hang over from my TREDTWO class earlier. Don't mind it. XD

I've been holding this in for so long.

2007-09-15T11:46:00.000+08:00

I was told that I should always be strong. I should never let anyone get a glimpse of my weakness. I shouldn't break down. I must be tough and victorious in everything I do. That's what they keep on telling me. That's what they keep on hammering into my head.

Now, I'm beginning to realize that it might be the very reason why I didn't become that way. In fact, I became the exact contradiction. I grew weak, inadequate, and vulnerable. I do have my glorious my moments of triumph and victory. But when the soft breeze of life suddenly turns into a hurricane of hardships, I grumble in despair. I lose the ability to take control. I become helpless.

Why am I not allowed to commit mistakes?
Why am I not allowed to experience defeat?

They always make it seem like failure equates to disgrace.

But doesn't failure also mean opportunities to learn? Doesn't defeat make the taste of triumph a lot sweeter? Why wouldn't they ever let me embrace it?

It's just so perplexed how the people I'm supposed to be able to cry my heart out to are the very same people whom I'm hiding my tears from.

more of first day

2007-09-11T17:59:00.000+08:00

Today's the second day of term 2 but it's still the first meeting for some of my subjects. Hmm how did it go? Not quite good for my majors. I like my TREDTWO (Theology and Religious Education 2) professor. He speaks very well. But there are times when he speaks just a little too much though. Imagine, we discussed 3 house rules for an hour and a half. Wooooooord vomiiiiiiiiit O_O

A substitute professor showed up on my second class, which is NLAN-ST (New Programming Language for ST). He discussed the syllabus and the never-ending machine project.

INTROSE (Introduction to Software Engineering) was worse. We found out that the machine project occupies a whopping 75% of our final grade. How lovely is that? Ugh.

Even Jay is going to experience a hard time on is majors. (USAENGG, BISPROC, DATABAS) Looks like this is really really really going to be one rough term. I swear I'm gonna need that Christmas break so baaaaaaad. LOL second day palang Christmas break na agad amf. Wahahaaa!

Haaaaaay.. Seems like stress is welcoming me back into its lovely arms once again.

Goodluck to all of us.. especially Erap. Okayanglabonun.

first daaaay

2007-09-10T19:40:00.000+08:00

I love this day! :D But it's not because it's the first day of term 2, of course. I just love it. Hehe. Anyway, Jay and I left my house at 7-ish. We had breakfast before going to our first class. We're classmates, btw :D We arrived at school at 8am, just in time for our first class, SCIMATP (Physics). Our prof was err.. okay.

Next class was COMSORG (Computer Systems Organization) which bored me as well because our professor already started with the lesson since most of us have already been his students last term. Di na daw kailangan ng orientation Oh well.

Last class was HUMALIT (Introduction to Literature). I thought we were going to write poems, sonnets or haikus and all those literary stuff but I was wrong. Instead we are going to assess and scrutinize different literary works of famous writers. Well, I hope it would still be a fun class. It is, after all, literature. :)

After class, Benny and Jude treated (and eventually left LOL) us in KFC. Lotsaaaaa food. I didn't know they had a bucket THAT big. Hahaa! We all felt full afterwards pero ang dami pa ring natira. Haha. Anyway, thanks benny for the treeeeeeeat! :D

Oh yeah, Jay brought his digicam with him because he was gonna show me the pictures he took during his friend's debut. And maaaaaaaaaaan, the camera is love! 10 megapixels, baby! LOL So malamang I camwhored bigtime. But Jay was the one who took all the photos. All I did was smile and pose. Nyahahahaaaa XD I loooooooove it!

After enrollment, Jay and I went home and watched Hairspraaaaaaaaaaaay XD We, or rather I, camwhore some more. :P Hon, "not no more you don't!" Hahahaaaaa! :D

And now I'm watching Willy Wonka while typing this entry. Love this day!

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS!
Happy birthday, Miles! (Sep 5) Miss na kita! Sus, sipain kita eh!
Happy birthday, Jude! (Sep 8)
Happy birthday, Benny! (Sep 8)

Ayun lang. :)

reasons why today is bull

2007-09-10T05:30:00.000+08:00

1. I don't have tickets to the DLSU-ADMU game today.
2. Tomorrow is the start of second term. I still don't want to go to school yet.
3. I was stuck at home by myself.
4. I am such an insecure litol girl. T_T
5. Fake. Fake. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE. :(

[edit]
6. DLSU lost.
[/edit]

shortest term break ever O_O

2007-09-06T19:26:00.000+08:00

My week-long(!!!) term break is almost over and it's upsetting because I didn't even get to accomplish half of the things written in my term break to-do list. Sniff sniff. Anyway, this is what happened during the term break so far.

MONDAY - I spent the day worrying about the course card distribution. Jay came over and we watched tv all day. He kept calming me down and wiping my sweaty palms (eeww) dry.

TUESDAY - Got my grades.. and I freaking passed! It really was a hell term especially with my majors. Here are my grades. It's really not something to boast about but I'm very very VERY happy with what I got. Life in CCS is brutal. Surviving 4 terms in it is already an achievement as precious as chocnut dipped in vanilla ice cream with colored sprinkles on top! :D

P.S. I got what I aimed for in ANMATH2. :D It's not 4.0-ish but I worked for it! Take that, Anita Ong! Ha! :D LOL

WEDNESDAY - I cannot remember what I did LOL

THURSDAY - DFA. It was really tiring. One employee there even commented that I don't look like a 17-year-old. Grrr do I really look that old? O_O Jay and I bought RAM for Nutty! :D

FRIDAY - Went to school to enroll, and then Glorietta after to get the RAM installed. :) Went home after, and Jay finished the banner he was doing to help my mom out. :)

Be gentle, September 4..

2007-09-03T20:52:00.000+08:00

UPDATES. Finals was very very very cruel. I'm telling you, the questions were mentally harmful. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt. Anyway, our week-long term break officially started last Saturday but until now I still can't feel its vibe. I don't feel relaxed at all. Having to wait for my grades is nerve-wracking. Oh please grant our professors the values of compassion and sympathy in handling our grades. Okaythisisfoolishi'mgonnashutupnow.

Jay and I watched The Simpsons Movie last Friday via Nutty. XD Okay I know I'm such loser for not watching it on the big screen but I was too caught up with school work. Well anyway, while we were watching it, Jay was laughing at me! He said he found it funny that instead of laughing at Homer, I actually pitied him for poking his eye with a hammer. LOL. Haha onga noh eh out of his usual stupidity naman yon. XD Sorry na, nagulat lang naman ako eh. Hahaha. Anyhow, the movie was great. And I downloaded it from the net. Hahahaaa!

Happy birthday, Meg! (Aug 30) I miss you so you better be back here for Christmas! LOL I hope you had a good one. Mwah! :)

Happy birthday, Crae! (Sep 1) Sorry I couldn't make it. I miss hanging out with you and shobe. :)

I want something to do! Me bumming around is not doing any good because it just drifts my mind into thinking about September 4. Oh September 4. I wish I could find a way to stop you from happening. I'm very anxious to know my grades but I'm scared as well. A HUMONGOUS FAT SIGH. I just want to get through September 4 alive. This is too much. Having to wait for it is already giving me an enormous amount of punishment. T_T Be gentle, September 4.

But wait! There's more! XD

2007-08-29T13:14:00.000+08:00

Okay, I know I already said goodbye for the night and that I'm going back to study some more but I just had to blog about this!

Me: Are you my knight in shining armor? Are you gonna carry me to your castle where we could live happily ever after?
Him: yeah i can be all that and more
Him: im also the knight who will cook you breakfast
Him: the knight that will feed the kids
Him: the knight that will try to be a joker to make u laugh
Him: the knight that will protect you from anything and anyone
Him: the knight that will give you ur happily ever after...
Him: the knight that will save you from loneliness
Him: the knight of your dreams is me

-- OKAY. THIS IS THE MOST HEARTMELTING PART! --

Him: the knight that has no armor, no castle to boast about, and a knight that cannot assure his princess that everyday would be a happily ever after.
Him: but one thing is for sure this knight loves the princess so much, and will try his best at making every day
Him: as happy as a story book ending

I was left speechless.

But now I know (and I'm sure!) that we really can make it. I love you, my prince! <3

yipeeyow, yipeeyeah.. sabaaaw

2007-08-29T09:13:00.001+08:00

I studied INTROAI last night and my mind didn't absorb a thing! Is it really because of my continuously diminishing literacy level or is it because the subject is just really that.. err, gruelling? IDK. God knows how bad I want to get this over with. Now, I'm making an attempt (haha) to study INTRODB, which is gory as well but not as hardcore as INTROAI. Waaaa I have to make all of these fit in my head. O_O

----

These past few days have been so harsh for me and Jay. It really raised a lot of complications in our relationship. But despite of that, it never occurred to me to stop seeing him and just get out of the relationship. It only just made me strive harder to make the relationship work and last. And I'm very thankful that he feels the same way. I love you, honey. We can make it. Our hands have always been meant to hold each other. I love you more than ever.

----

I want to share this quote to everyone. I hope it would inspire you as much as it inspired me (or even more). :)

Most people fail at whatever they attempt because of an undecided heart. Should I? Should I not? Go forward? Go back? Success requires the emotional balance of a committed heart. When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.

Okay, back to reality. Must. Study. Some. More.

to my lovey dearest!

2007-08-26T15:09:00.000+08:00

It was you who my heart has been looking for all this time. Despite everything we have been going through, here we are, holding each other's hands tighter than ever. The past 9 months of my life have been a blessing because of you. Let's hold on tighter. I love you so much!

2007-08-23T11:45:00.000+08:00

My August 19 thoughts..
Did I actually stop blogging for 2 full months? Woah. I still can't believe that it really has been THAT long. I have been making up over the weekend for my days and days of lack of decent sleep. It's nice to sleep and bum around! I haven't done that in long while. When everything gets so stressed out, that's when you realize the value of sleep and relaxation. My body almost gave up on me! Thank God the submission of all the machine projects is done. Next thing to rattle and get nervous about? Project demo. Ugh. : /

My August 21 thoughts..
I missed Jay! We didn't have classes yesterday so we were unable to see each other. I'm so glad I got to feel his warm hugs again! <3

Today..
Jay and I watched Evan Almighty. The movie was sweet! But having to watch it with my love is sweetuurrrr :)

That is the only reason why I could smile today. Everything else is just craaaaap. I just don't get the fact that you -- geez, you of all people -- would spit out hurtful words like that. I thought I could trust you. Fcuk, I actually trusted you! I told you everything because I thought you understand me. But you don't. You're just as narrow-minded as they all are. Ugh.Thanks for nothing.

Tomorrow we'll be having our project demo for INTRODB. Great. More crap.

Am I back?

2007-08-10T08:41:00.000+08:00

DAHIL WALA ULIT PASOK, MAG-UUPDATE AKO. (HUH?)

I have been on the longest blog break! I'm back now although I don't guarrantee that I'll be able to update regularly. Academic work has been consuming my time. It's just now that I happen to find the chance to type something which school doesn't require and it feels very rewarding (although I will still be talking about school since that's mostly what occupies my hours. Oh how I wish school won't slap me with academic work too hard anymore). This is totally going to be random, so forgive my inconsistency.

1. Two more agonizing weeks and 2nd year, term 1 is finally over. But before that, I have to meet a lot of deadlines. Programs here, papers there. *sigh* College is stressful, at least for me it is. It even affects my health already. I just hope that I could still hold things together long enough until these 2 weeks are over. And I also do hope that all the hard work (and torment!) will pay off.

2. I have no social life anymore. I mean, all that ever occupies my time is related with school. If Jay doesn't study in DLSU, maybe we'll barely see each other too. :( I'm just glad and thankful that my friends still check up on me despite me not reaching out. I'm sorry guys. Miss na miss ko na kayo! You really are my true friends! <3

3. Our block, S20, ranked 2nd runner-up in the Catch2T10 Interblock! Congratulations, guys!

courtesy of our block manager, Pam :)

4. My dad went home and left for work again just last week. I haven't told him yet about Jay. Heeeelp! :( I'll blog all about it when I have time. IF I have time. Huhuhu..

Okay I feel so flushed out and I forgot what to type here. Need. Some. Rest.

Lord, this is my plea.

2007-06-10T12:04:00.000+08:00

I know I am in no way commendable of asking things from You because I haven't really done anything to prove my worthiness but no matter how appalling I turn out to be, You are not quick to judge. You look at Your children with equality, and I know deep in my heart that You still consider me as one. If there are any condemnations about me that are to be thrown out to my face, Yours is the only one I'd willingly acknowledge. People down here judge all the time although they don't really understand. But I know that You, up there, does and that is why I am here, kneeling down upon Your feet.

I have been struggling with a lot things in my life. Things that I can't seem to juggle all at once which made it even more of a predicament to find a decent alone-time with Jay. I know that this is not enough excuse for my horrible disregard for his feelings lately that's why I am deeply sorry and at a loss as to how I could make it up to him. He has a lot of impediments himself but he still makes it certain that I could feel his presence every time I need to -- especially when I need to.

As much as I want to ask WHY Jay and I are experiencing all of these, I chose not to. I do not have the right to grumble because I myself am perfectly aware that we have not been on our best behavior lately. Also, I know that You are GOD and that You purposedly permitted all of these. You know what You're doing and that is reason enough for me to not be dubious about it and just accept everything wholeheartedly.

I am not asking You to lift this burden away from our shoulders. I won't ever do that. I believe You have Your own time and I would want to let that be. But I do have a plea. A plea that, if granted, would make the weight a lot more bearable: Please take good care of Jay. Look out for him, especially now that I am very incapable of doing so. He has been through a lot already and he's even going through a lot more right now. I always tell him that I'll be strong for him if he gets weak but right now, I am running out of places to pull strength from. So please give him strength and let him not lose hope.

Okay, maybe I asked too much already instead of just one thing. But I know that there is nothing impossible with You and I believe that You are teaching us something out of all these. Whatever that is, it will surely be worth all the grief and sorrow.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

What's happened to you?

2007-06-03T08:37:00.000+08:00

I don't get you anymore. I can't figure out why you're being like this. You tell me you trust me, but you don't. You really don't. And you easily get mad for the littlest of mistakes that I do. Sometimes we're good, but most of the time we're not. You don't seem to care about what I feel anymore.

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?

You've already captured me.

2007-05-29T11:47:00.000+08:00

Fine mag-uupdate na ako. Haha.

May 23 (Wednesday)
Happy 6th month! ♥
Happy Birthday, Sanna! Sorry I missed your party.

It was first day of classes and I was late! I guess my mind is really still on vacation O_O

May 24 (Thursday)
I made sure that I wasn't (HAHA) late anymore.
I found out that my Anmath2 (Analytical Math 2/Calculus) professor is... Ms. Anita Ong >_< Haaaaaaaay! Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, Ms. Ong is the scariest professor we've had as far as Mathematics is concerned. Hindi siya masungit and all that, but her exams are scary! Eh hello, the subject is scary in itself na tapos madadagdagan pa ng professor na kinacareer ang paggawa ng written exams. She was my professor in ALGTRIG (Algebra/Trigonometry) back in first year, first term. I think she failed half (or was it more?) of the students she handled for that subject. And now.. she's back! That only leads to one sure thing: Anmath2 take two. Geez, I certainly hope NOT.

P.S. I have heard stories from the upper class men that at the beginning of the term when the students find out that their Mathematics professor is Ms. Ong, the class immediately gets dissolved. Why? Because students either drop the subject or adjust to another class. O_O Yung samin kaya madissolve rin?

May 25 (Friday)
After my classes, sinamahan ko si Jay na magenroll sa ENGLRES namin para meron naman kaming kahit isang subject na magkaklase. Unfortunately hindi pa namin napapaprint yung revised EAF niya kaya hindi kami nabigyan agad ng number kasi kailangan ipresent yung EAF and ID. So pumila ulit ako habang pinaprint nya yung EAF niya. Tas dun ko naisip yung dapat na ginawa namin kanina pa: EAF at ID ko dapat yung pinakita namin! Grrr badtrip nun ko lang naisip. Wala pa siya so ganun yung ginawa ko. 88 yung nakuha ko. Badtrip dapat less than 50 kami eeehhhh! >_< Oh well. Hinintay ko na lang siya. Pagdating niya, kumuha rin pala siya ng number kasi akala niya hindi ako kumuha ng number. 99 yung nakuha niya. So yung number na nakuha ko yung ginamit namin. Ang tagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal. Ang init pa naman sa Gox lobby lalo na ngayon kasi under renovation pa yung kalahati. Hinintay namin na tawagin kami only to find out na wala nang slot. Malamang, eh 88 ba naman yung number namin eh. Sayang talaga :(

May 26 (Saturday)
Sinundo ako ni Jay sa bahay. Sinamahan niya ko sa school para magpaphotocopy nung chapter 1 ng reference book for INTROAI (Introduction to Artificial Intelligence). And then balik sa bahay at nagturuan magPhotoshop. LOL!

May 27 (Sunday)
Happy Birthday, Junel!
Church.
Christ's Ambassadors :)

TODAY
I don't want to talk about today. >______<

Jayjay, I love you. ♥

2007-05-25T11:20:00.000+08:00

It was forty minutes after five. The rain was gently pouring and the soiled streets were starting to get a little swampy. I was holding my brown jacket, slightly damp from the raindrops and much crumpled out of my choky grip. There was not a single trace of the wind anywhere for I have been sweating a lot, as well as the person beside me.

It was forty minutes after five. You know how I've always said that regret is such a horrible word and should never be used by anyone? Well I guess at some point, you have to. In that still moment, forty minutes after five, I felt regretful. Regretful about a lot of things I did. Regretful about a lot of words I said.

It was forty minutes after five. I wiped the beads of sweat forming on my nose and forehead. I tried to make a fan out of my handkerchief, by waving it back and forth towards my face. Fortunately, I was able to create a little amount of air. However the cold feeling and relief that my "fan" has been giving me did not take any of the things that I wished it would. Sadness. Sorrow. Remorse.

It was forty minutes after five. I picked up my bag and held onto my jacket even tighter. I looked at the person next to me and quickly looked away. I stood up, got off the jeepney and stepped on the ground.

Today, forty minutes after five, with my brown jacket clenched in my hands and chunks of mud sticking to my slippers, I fought back the tears that are clouding my eyes.

2007-05-24T11:05:00.000+08:00

Thank you, Hon!
Happy 6th Monthsary!
I LOVE YOU! Y

[UPDATE]

Look at what he did for me, courtesy of Yahoo! Doodle :D

[/UPDATE]

Nang magkausap kami kanina..

2007-05-21T12:35:00.000+08:00

Ako: Eh wala naman sa ichura ni *bleep* na happy siya eh!
Jay: Kahit na! Di mo pa rin masasabi
Ako: Di tulad mo, nung first term pag tinitignan kita halatang happy ka eh.
Jay: So tinitignan mo nga ako nung first term?
Ako: Hin.. Uhm.. GRRR ANG YABANG MO TALAGA!!
Jay: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ako: Ang yabang amf! Sige ka, di kita ikikiss!
Jay: Ah ganon? Ako naman, di kita..
Ako: Ano? Sige nga anong threat mo saken??
Jay: Di kita.. iiwan.

YUN YUN EH. LALALALALALALOOOOOOOOVE THAT BOY! ♥

Baaaaaaaaack :D

2007-05-18T10:02:00.000+08:00

I'm back, I'm back!

Pahiyas was fuuuuuuun! We stayed at Lucban for 2 days. And I loved it. I love Lucban! The last time I've been there was when I was 7 years old which is like.. a decade ago. Oh my, for a second there I realized how old(huhuhu) I was. AnywayAnywayAnyway. Even though that was a long time ago, I still had a vague memory of it in the back of my head. And when we came back, it was still the same. The place, the people, the super fresh air.. Nothing changed! The serenity and beauty of the Pahiyas Festival was preserved. Aside from the huge mob trying to take photos of the stunning displays of the Pahiyas Festival, everything else was LOVE.

I failed to camwhore though, because I still don't have the budget (Who am I kidding? I don't have anything to budget!) to buy a memory card. Major BOO.

I so love Lucban! Maybe in the future, I would want to have a place of my own there. Weeeeee! It thrills me just thinking about it. Hehehe.. Okay, I'll stop now. :)
------------------------

This is my pahabol Mother's Day entry. Hahaha. :P

Mom, I just want to tell you the things that I thank you for:

1. You're the only person who has been ever so true to me. You tell me straight if I look beautiful or not. You don't sugar-coat words just to make me feel better. You want to be completely honest about things, even when it's ugly. ESPECIALLY when it's ugly.

2. You give me enough privacy. You don't leave me alone but you make sure that I can be on my own.

3. You give me your trust. You know that I am growing up and you recognize the things that come with it. You let me budget my money. You gave me a copy of the house keys. And you don't read my cellphone messages (anymore LOL). But I still haven't earned your trust when it comes to cooking, though. LOL

4. I cry when you cry, you cry when I cry. What can I say, we are soooooo connected!

5. You love my boyfriend, and he loves you back! :D

God must reeeeeeeaaaaaaaally love me when He made you my mom! :D

Happy Mother's Day, MAMA!
I love you so big!

2007-05-15T13:53:00.000+08:00

OFF TO LUCBAN FOR THE PAHIYAS FESTIVAL.

BE BACK ON THE 16TH.

I wish I'm eighteen.

2007-05-14T11:11:00.000+08:00

Hurried to grow up? Partly. Hey, don't get me wrong! I still think like a 5-year-old most of the time and if there really is a Never Land, I would gladly migrate there to stay in my youth forever. But then, there's still a part of me that wishes I am older -- old enough to gain my own right of suffrage. Yes, with all the hype and drama that has been going on in our country because of the national campaign, there's a part of me that wants to be involved. To be heard. To vote.

A few days ago, my mom showed me her sample ballot. I took a close look at the names she wrote, especially those of the senatorial candidates. And as I read each name, it made me want to have my right to vote as well.

Over the past months, the people who are running for a certain political seat have been bombarding us with posters, flyers, tv ads, and all the other paraphernalia they could think of to be recognized and known. They spend an enormous amount of money in campaigning so that people would remember who they are, and hopefully would vote for them in the upcoming May 14 elections. I would like to share something that had happened a few days ago. While I was on our way home from Bulacan (Youth Camp '07), we stopped over at a local store to buy drinks for the loooooong drive home. And then a person there gave us free candies, which has the face of a certain candidate (for mayor, I think) plastered on the candy wrapper. I found that experience rather funny, because aside from the fact that most of us cannot vote yet, we're not even citizens of Bulacan. They practically just give out those candies to every person who buys at their store.

But is the real essence of being a leader measured by those posters, tv ads, flyers, campaign jingles, motorcades, or even candies? Is it a basis for choosing who to vote? Sadly, this might be true for ~~some~~ most of the voters. They vote for a certain political candidate because his/her face is glued all over the streets of their town. Or because he/she is all they see on TV commericals. Or because they always hear his/her campaign jingle and watch his/her supporters wave at them during motorcades. Or because he/she is being endorsed by their favorite celebrity. I could go on and on with these reasons and I think I wouldn't run out, and it's such a shame.

If you can relate with these reasons, then I suggest that you don't vote anymore because you're practically putting one vote to waste.

I am no genius in politics and I definitely have very little interest in it. But for the past seventeen years of my existence, I have seen a lot of people, especially young children, suffer because the people in authority are not doing anything to help them. These children did not even vote for these leaders and yet they are suffering the consequences.

THINK ABOUT IT. Time for a change, right?

Yesterday, my mom made another sample ballot and showed it to me. I noticed that from her previous list of 12 senatorial candidates, she now wrote 9. I stared closely at each name and I smiled. I think her sample ballot is better than what she had made before. :)

TO ALL THE VOTERS: Give a lot of thought on who to vote. Don't pick random names just for the sake of completing an entire list of senators or members of the city council or whatever. Vote only for the people who you think justifies the position he/she is running for. It is not necessary to complete it, especially if you can't think of other deserving candidates anymore. Just cross the remaining blanks out, so that no extra hands could write in there. Okidoki? :)

With that, I say GOOD LUCK!

OKAY, RANTING OVER. BACK TO BEING A 5-YEAR-OLD BRAT AGAIN. NYAHAHAHAAAAA!

Hold me close, cos I need you to guide me to safety.

2007-05-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

Just a bunch of randomness! :)

1. Jay was here a while ago. He took care of me and stayed with me because I'm sick. Well, not sick sick. I don't have a fever but I seem to get easily cold. Kapag matagal akong nagsstay sa isang airconditioned room, giniginaw ako tapos sumasama yung pakiramdam ko. It's weird nga eh kasi I used to stay in my room the entire day with the aircon on. But now, hindi kami makapag-aircon sa bahay kasi sumasama yung pakiramdam ko. Haaayy. I don't know what's happening to me but I hope it's nothing too serious. Well anyway, he stayed with me until 6pm.

2. ON A LIGHTER NOTE, I watched Project Runway last Wednesday night and it was the final episode. It determined which among Michael, Laura, Uli and Jeffrey (my two favorites!) would be the final 3 who would go to present their collection in Olympus Fashion Week. I had a hard time guessing which one of them would be out because they are all very different from the other. Each one of them has his/her own style and it would be great to see all of it on fashion week. I didn't who's gonna be out. I just wished that my bets wouldn't be sent home. LOL. I wasn't disappointed because the judges decided to keep all of them! All four of them (including Uli and Jeffrey :D) will be presenting their collection on fashion week. Yeeeyy! :) Damn it, I'm such a fan. LOL!

3. I was browsing YouTube for dominos. Okay, it sounds totally weird but hey, ONE, dominos are really fun to watch; and TWO, uhm, okay I admit it. I'm weird. LOL! Well anyway, I found a really cool video which involves dominos(DUH!) and billiards. Maybe it was edited or something but I was amazed. Check it out:

4. Happy 18th Birhtday to the Proud Indio, Kenneth Carsula! :) You have grown soooo much (and I also mean that literally!) since I first met you which was like.. err, kinder? LOL! Well anyway, I hope you had a very meaningful birthday. Godbless! :)

Look at this!

2007-05-11T13:23:00.000+08:00

This is what Jay this morning out of boredom during his Kaspil1 class. But that's not only it. There's more. LOL! Click the image. Go, click it! Notice what the drawing is made of. Awwwwwwwww, right? That boy is such a sweetie! ♥

I'm not feeling well today. Giniginaw ako tas masama yung pakiramdam ko. Nakakatuwa cos Jay kept hugging me and tucking me under the comforter to keep me warm. He had to leave na cos it was getting late. When he got home. He immediately checked on how I was feeling. This is part of our text conversations:

Ako: Thank you kanina ha.
Jay: I'm glad it worked. Haha ano ka ba. Hindi pa alaga yun. Pag nag-alaga ako walang tulugan. Punasan all night. Hahaha. :)
Ako: Talaga? Babantayan mo ako magdamag?
Jay: Opo. Kung kaya kong magstay up ng walang ginagawa eh pano pa kaya kung ginagawa ko yung gustung-gusto kong ginagawa. :)

YUN YUN EH. ♥ ♥ ♥

Nilalagay ang Fissan sa paa para mabulag ang fungi.

2007-05-10T12:52:00.000+08:00

May 6

Halos hindi ako nakapagpahinga pagkagaling sa camp at debut at family dinner kasi magsswimming daw. Mga 7am gumising ako dahil sisimba kami ng 8am. pumunta na kaming Club Manila East. Nandun na yung mga pinsan ko. Pagdating namin dun, wala nang available na Cabana or Hut. Puno na lahat. So nagvilla kami. LOL! Buti na lang pala puno na lahat kasi mas maganda sa villa eh! So nagswimming na yung mga pinsan ko. Tapos si Daddy at Mama, nanuod ng De La Hoya-Mayweather. Ako naman.. chenen! Nagtulog. Nagtulog nang nagtulog. LOL Gumising lang ako para kumain tapos natulog ulit tapos gumising para magbihis na paalis. HAHA! Pagkatapos nun, dinner at Max's and then uwi na by 9pm.

May 7

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY SARAH!!
I miss you so much! Sana makapagdate naman tayo. :)
I LOVE YOU, SIS! *HUG!*

Dad left for a business meeting in HongKong for 2 days. Tapos sa Vietnam naman to continue his work for a month or so. I woke up mga 11am. Naligo ako tapos Jay went here. I missed him!! Ngayon lang kami nagkita as in kita kasi naman nangangarag kami nung debut ni Sarah. Haha. So ayun, bonding bonding. Namiss ko yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

May 8

Mom and I went to Makati Med for her blood test and yung check up ko for my injury. The doctor said I had to undergo x-ray on my right ankle just to make sure that the bones are aligned properly. So yun. The results will be available on Thursday(May 10).

Had lunch, and went home. Tapos pinag-awayan namin ni Jay kung crab o lobster si Sebastian. Crab naman talaga dibaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? HAHAHA!

May 9

I just stayed home. Jay went here and brought Mom(!) a pizza. LOL He ate lunch here and insisted to help me wash the dishes. Nag-aaksaya daw ako ng tubig kasi masyadong malakas.

Jay: *hininaan yung gripo* Pwede namang ganito lang kahina eh!
Ako: *nilakasan yung gripo* Ganito dapat!
Jay: Sayang yung tubig.
Ako: Hindi, tama lang yan para magulat yung mga sabon sa plato at malaglag sa lababo.
Jay: *natawa* Hanep ah! Parang kapag may sakit ka dapat uminom ka ng mainit na tubig para mapaso yung germs at mamatay.
Ako: Oo ganun na nga!

ANG SABAAAAAAAW. :D Ayun tapos nagstay siya hanggang 6:30pm. Wala lang. Kinakantahan ko siya ng kung anu-ano. Gulat na gulat siya nung kumanta ako ng isang Korean song. LOL!

And then we had one of the truest talks ever. It made me realize how much he really means to me. <3

That's it. Project Runway mode. Bye!

C4 ka ba?

2007-05-07T12:06:00.000+08:00

NOTE: THIS IS A LONG ENTRY. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. LOL

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! I am so glad and thankful to God that I got back home safely. The camp was one heck of an experience. I would not write anymore what happened but rather, I want to share to you what I have learned:

1. There is enough God to carry on. When you have nothing and no one to count on but God, don't pity yourself because God is enough. He is more than enough to carry on.

2. I am so not athletic, and my body is uber sensitive. Just minor accidents can cause my body major bruises and injuries. I had a few but huge(!) dark stains on my body, especially my legs. I hate it.

3. I survived without any help of advanced technology for 3 days. Just electric fan! I am so proud! :D It's just too bad that I didn't get to take pictures. Oh well.

4. I got to interact and socialize with people my age who are ALL Born Again Christians. It's nice to be in a place filled with people who has the same desire and hunger for the Lord as you do.

5. I missed my family. I missed Jay. Being away from them is unbearable but at the same time fulfilling. It was an opportunity to prove what I am really capable of doing. By myself. Alone. Independently.

6. The people from other churches are VERY friendly. They did not leave me out even though I'm the only one from Pasig in the group. Go flock Joseph! I love you guys! If it weren't for my injury, we would not have won! LOL

7. C4. Commitment to Christ. Commitment to Church. Commitment to Leaders. Commitment to Mission.

8. I missed the food at home! Okay, call me maarte but it was the first time I skipped meals because I couldn't eat the food. >___<

-----------------

May 5, 2007(Saturday)

It was Sarah's 18th birthday and I was invited. And let me tell you, it was a big fat struggle to get there. LOL! Seriously. Why? Okay here goes. See, that day was also the last day of the camp. We left Bulacan at 2:30pm. Dahil sa major traffic, I arrived home at 6:30pm. And the party starts at 6:00pm. So kumusta ka? Daig ko pa yung debutante sa pagiging late. LOL

At hindi lang yon. I still don't know how to get to the party! Habang naliligo ako, iniisip ko kung paano ako makakapunta dun. HAHA. My dad offered to take me there.. BUT! (Yep, there's a HUGE but) I'm bringing Jay with me to the party. I just don't know how. Why? Flashback: Hindi alam ng dad ko na may nag-eexist na Jay a.k.a boyfriend ko. AMF. Total panicness(!!!).

That same night, there would be a family dinner because it's my grandparents' (dad's side) 51st wedding anniversary. That means Dad can't take me there rin pala. So Mom called Jay up and told him to pick me up and take me to the party. I didn't know what to think. Bahala na, was all I could say. A few minutes after I took a bath, Jay was already at our door. My mom let him in while I was getting dressed. My dad went to the living room, where Jay was, and I didn't know what happened. LOL There wasn't any introduction.

I know Jay was soooo nervous. Naawa nga ako kasi he was all alone sa living room... with my dad. AMF. I couldn't imagine how he felt that time. I hurriedly got ready para makaalis na. And to my surprise, Dad called the cab for us. When we were in the cab na, I hugged him tight. Aside from the fact that I didn't see him for 3 days, he got the courage to sit in the living room. With my Dad. Without me. Thank God no interrogations occurred. LOL

When we arrived at the debut, there were already lots of people. I saw a lot of PCU friends who seemed so surprised to see me there. It's been a while na rin kasi since I last saw them. I saw the birthday girl and she's prettier than ever! She seemed happy and thrilled to see me there. She thought I wasn't going to make it kasi super late ako. Haha. Seeing her happy made all the struggle worth it. :) Eto pa pala. Akala ko simple dinner and gathering lang. Aba, may mini program at kasama ako! Napa-impromptu speech tuloy ako nang di oras. Haha. But it's okay, para kay Sarah naman eh. I love you so much, Sis! *HUG!*

After the program, nagpaalam na ako kay Sarah. I needed to make it to the family dinner. Kakahiya, late ako dumating tas ang aga ko umalis. Haha. Sorry Sis. Bawi na lang ako next time. Jay and I rode a cab papuntang Greenbelt. Balak pa sana namin mamasyal kasi medyo hindi pa ako tinatawagan ng mom ko. But then pagdating namin ng Greenbelt, my mom called. Bummer. I needed to get there na daw. So Jay and I took a cab papuntang Harbour Square. Tas dun na kami naghiwalay. Thank you honey for being with me that night and putting up with all the hassle that it brought you. I love you!

When I arrived, they were having dessert at Pancake House. I was so tired and my eyes are so heavy. All I wanted was to take a big fat rest from the big fat struggles that the day has given me. LOL But I enjoyed it so it's all good. After dessert, we had a family picture and then headed home. Alas, I missed my bed! LOL

Anyway, that's it. Sorry for the long entry. Goodnight!

I'm going camping! :)

2007-05-03T10:22:00.000+08:00

Apparently, almost all the people I've talked to who have already watched Spiderman 3, said that they liked it. How come I didn't? Is there something wrong with me? LOL Cos I thought that Venom guy was too funny. I mean he's supposed to be muscular and monstrous, or at least scary, right? He's funny ugly, not scary ugly. And I didn't like what happened to him at the end.

When we saw Peter Parker in his "evil" self, the first thing Jay and I noticed was his hair. Hello, emo boy! Haha. I mean seriously, does he really have to wear his hair like that? And the moves, man. The moves! It was the bomb! LOL Sorry, I just loooove Peter Parker so much more when he's a dork. :)

However, the action was very good. It became more intense. Kudos to that. And Kirsten Dunst is hot! Hahaha! The graphics were superb, too. Okay, that's the programmer in me talking already. LOL

I suggest to just see it for yourself.

Anyway, enough about the Spidey sensation. I'll be gone tomorrow until Saturday for our youth camp. Assembly time is 4:30-5:00am (!). How the hell am I going to get enough sleep when I still HAVE to watch Project Runway later at 10:00pm? LOL!

I'm currently watching Mika's new video, Love Today on MTV. He's so adorably gaaaaaaay! LOL! I love him! :)

Okay, I'm gonna continue packing. I'll see you guys on Sunday, or maybe next week! BYE!

P.S. I miss Jay. :(

There are only two things..

2007-05-02T09:34:00.000+08:00

..that I liked about this day.

ONE, I watched a movie with Jay.

and TWO, I ran into Sarah after watching the movie.

Other than that, everything else sucked big time. Don't ask.

P.S. Am I the only one who didn't like Spiderman 3?

2007-05-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

EATING CHARLIE AND THE CHOCNUT FACTORY SLASH CAMWHORING SLASH COROLING THE COROLING BOOK WITH JAY WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY. ♥

--------------------------------------

When I went home, I took a nap and then Mom woke me up at about 7:00 pm. We (Mom, Dad, Tita Becks, Tita Leah, Tito Gerry, Gazelle, Ruby, and I) went to Cafe Astoria where our churchmate Kuya Larry works as a singer. We ate there and watched him perform. It was nice. The place was too formal and sosyal though. Something that I have a hard time being. LOL. Anyway, it has a very serene and calm ambiance. It's nice. We got home at 11:00 pm. Anyhoo, gotta go. BYE!

You know what?

2007-04-30T11:15:00.000+08:00

May kwento ako!

We had our usual Sunday service. After that, we (Mom, Dad and I) went to Glorietta to have lunch. I was texting Jay that time and he told me that he and his family were in Greenbelt. I couldn't meet him though simpleybecause 1) My dad's there. He doesn't know anything about Jay yet. I think he has a clue though, but he just doesn't want to ask. I mean, sinong hindi maghihinala eh ang laki-laki ni Chad para itago ko? LOL; 2) Jay's family is there. I don't know, but I'm just not ready to meet them yet. Scared? Yeah, I guess so.

Anyways, after we had lunch, Jay texted. Pupunta daw sila sa The Fort. We still stayed in Glorietta. Imi-meet namin sina Lola dahil magpapaayos daw kasi siya ng salamin. habang hinihintay namin sila, nag-ice cream muna kami. We stayed at G4. Tas after a while nagtext si Jay na pupunta daw silang Glorietta to watch a movie. At nasa carpark na sila. So parang okay, pwede pa kami magkita. KAYA LANG.. nung paakyat na sila, dumating na sina Lola. Bumaba naman kami. So in short, nagkasalisihan kami. Ayun yun eh. Nakakapanghinayang.

Tapos pinuntahan na namin sina Lola. Eh 1 hour pa bago makuha yung glasses. Nagyaya silang magmerienda somewhere. Eh ayoko na kasi kakakain ko lang. Sabi nila manood nalang daw kami ng movie magpipinsan habang kumakain sila. Haha kumusta yun? Andun si Jay. So parang oo na lang ako (kunwari pa amf). Eh di bumalik akong G4 kasama mga pinsan ko. Bumili kami ng tickets, Stomp the Yard. Tapos nakita ko siya, Shooter daw yung papanuorin nila. Nagbabay na ako agad kasi the movie's already starting. We went inside na. Lalo ko siya namiss..

We started watching the movie na. It was nice, it had some funny parts which was really good. I couldn't really focus that much because I was texting Jay. Medyo matagal siyang di nagreply tapos nung nagtext siya, he asked:

Jay: What cinema kayo?
Ako: 4, bakit?
Jay: Wala lang. Haha.
Ako: Di nga?
Jay: Wala nga lang, bibili sana ako ng ticket eh. Pasok ako dyan. Kaya lang alam ko sasabihin mo sayang lang eh.
Ako: Talaga gagawin mo yun?
Jay: Gusto mo?
Ako: Makakaalis ka ba dyan?
Jay: Wave your fone sa air now.

Poof! Andun na siya sa loob ng movie house. :) Eh sa aisle pa ako nakaupo so nung tinabihan niya ako, nakaupo siya sa stairs. LOL! Tinanong ko what was his excuse sa family niya. Sabi niya he told them na bibili lang siya ng hotdog. Haha! Grabe, I missed him so much. He was beside me for 5 minutes (!) tapos he said that he has to leave na. Bibili pa daw siya ng hotdog. Hehe. So ayun, he left. I was very happy.

He's so full of surprises. It's just the sweetest thing! I mean, he paid a P120 movie ticket just to see me for 5 effin' minutes. Tas he'll buy snacks pa para hindi magduda parents niya. I mean.. nakakataba ng puso. Nakakatouch. Nakakablush. Nakaka-awwww. Lahat na. Haaaaaay. I so love that boy!

To Jay: Thank you. You have made my day. ♥ ♥ ♥

Lucas Eugene Scott

2007-04-29T12:03:00.000+08:00

I guess everyone who knows me is aware of my obsession over Chad Michael Murray a.k.a Lucas Scott a.k.a. Hottie hot hot. LOL! I first spotted him when I saw the movie Freaky Friday. He captured my heart with woe. Since then, I can't take my eyes off him. He was so adorable in that movie especially when he was singing -- or maybe yelling -- Hit me baby one more time! He had this long hair, wore leather jacket and rode on a motorcycle. He just looked so fine.

I immediately looked him up over the net and I found out that he has a tv series, which has just debuted it's first season for a few weeks. I'm talking about One Tree Hill. I started watching it and I got madly hooked. Aside from the fact that hottie hot hot is one of the leads, the storyline is just impressive and the actors were great. Plus, the soundtrack is just LOVE. I also found a character in the show whom I can relate to, in terms of being screwed up and misunderstood, by the name of Peyton Sawyer. She, too, is love.

Anyway, back to the very dreamy Chad. LOL. The next film he starred in was A Cinderella Story. I loved him in this film as well. He really captured the prince charming image like it was made for him. Then, he starred in another film, a suspense-thriller this time, called House of Wax alongside Elisha Cuthbert (which I have lesbo love for, btw). In this movie, he portrayed a bad boy image. He shaved his hair off to match his grumpy and arrogant role as Nick Jones. I love it! :)

FAN GIRL, I know. But I guess it's not Chad whom I'm falling for but Lucas Scott. He just possesses everything that I ever wanted in a prince charming. Okay, I guess not everything. But he seems to have that whole package going on. And those eyes. Those dreamy eyes. Everytime he would look at Peyton Sawyer, it just makes me go Awwww while wishing someone would look at me that way too.

Someone did. And who may that person be, you ask? It's no other than Jay, my boyfriend. :)

We all have like a list of qualities that we look for in a guy. I think evey girl does. Every girl has certain things which she hopes her prince charming possesses. I do too. I have standards and qualities that I look for in my prince. A lot of those, I found in Lucas Scott. Maybe that's why I grow fond of watching and admiring him, even if he's just a fantasy. One way or another, I dreamed that I would meet someone who came close or maybe is exactly like Lucas Scott. And I wasn't disappointed. :)

My boyfriend might not resemble Lucas Scott at all but I'm VERY sure about one thing: Everytime he looks at me, I melt exactly the way I did when Lucas stares at Peyton. Wait, not exactly -- I melt even MORE. I guess I just find it so hard to believe that someone actually looked at me that way and more.

He might not have all the qualities of a prince charming that I had in mind but he sure makes me feel like a princess. And that really is what's important. He is my very own Lucas Eugene Scott. And I am his Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. :)

I love you so much, Jay. ♥

P.S. Did you think this entry was about Chad? LOL

2inlove and Jayjay makes a happy Chel!

2007-04-26T21:02:00.000+08:00

I left home at 9:30am. Tapos puntang SMA para kumuha ng yearbook with Sisthurr Crae. Tapos dumating si Poxy para kumuha din ng yearbook. Pinagtripan at pinagtawanan namin yung ibang mga tao sa yearbook. Haha bastos. Tas umalis na si Poxy dala ang 3 yearbooks (HAHAHA) at kami naman ni Sisthurr ay nagcab papuntang Madocs para sunduin si Shobe Jacque.

Pagdating sa Madocs, tinour kami ni Shobe sa loob. Maraming nakitang former schoolmates. Tas pinuntahan din namin si Sap habang nagkaklase. Suplado. Nakakaloko pa yung ngiti. HAHA!

Tapos naglakad (yup!) kami papuntang MOA. Nastress ako dun. LOL! We ate lunch at Pupung & Friends. Tapos puro kwentuhan at tawanan lang na sobrang SABAW. Nakakamiss yun! Tapos kumain kami ng Quickly. Ay iniinom pala yon. Tapos more kwentuhans pa. Tapos tambay at camwhore sa Powerbooks. Tapos naghanap at bumili ng coloring book sa National. Haha ang labo. Pero enjoy sobraaaa!

Tapos sinundo na ako ni Jay at nagbabay na ako sa mga kapatid ko. Tambay muna kami ni Jay sa Powerbooks (nanaman LOL) habang tinitignan niya yung yearbook. Tapos bumili kami ng Popperoo (haha adik na ako sa popcorn amf) tapos umuwi na. Nagstay pa siya sa bahay. Naglaro ako ng Sudoku sa PSP niya at nagcamwhore kami hanggang sa malowbatt ang digicam ko. HAHA! Tapos umuwi na siya around 6. Ang sayaaaaaaaaaaa! :)

ETO PA. Nalaman ko nung pinuntahan ko siya sa Powerbooks na kanina pa pala siya sa MOA. As in KANINA PA. Nauna pa siya saken, para lang hintayin at ihatid ako pauwi. Nakakaloka diba? Ang usapan kasi namin kagabi eh uuwi muna siya tapos mga 4pm susunduin niya ako sa MOA. Tapos yun pala, after ng class niya, dumerecho na siya ng MOA tapos nagpalipas siya ng oras habang hinihintay niya akong magtext na tapos na kami magdate ng mga kapatid ko. Sobrang natouch ako. Nanuod pa siya ng movie mag-isa(!!!!!) para magpalipas ng oras. Tapos pag-uwi niya, nagpunta sila ng family niya sa Rockwell para manuod ng movie. And guess what, pinanuod nila yng pinanuod niya kanina. Sobrang naguilty ako. Natuwa ako na ginawa niya yun para saken, pero nakakaguilty kasi gumastos pa siya and all. I mean, ilang oras siyang mag-isa sa MOA eh hate na hate pa naman nya ang MOA kasi lagi siyang nawawala dun sa sobrang laki at ayaw niya yung lakad nang lakad. WAAAAAAAA HONEY, I'M SOOOOOO SORRY. SOBRANG THANK YOU SA PAG-AALAGA MO. I LOVE YOU SOBRA!

Eto conversation namin pagkauwi niya:

Jay: Bebi masakit ulo ko.. =c
Me: Awww. Bebi sorry. Kanina ka pa kasi nasa MOA eh. I'm sorry my baby..
Jay: Wag ka magsorry. I decided to go there nalang agad para ONE kasi tinatamad ako umuwi; TWO pag nagkaproblem tas tinawag mo ako, at least nasa vicinity lang ako. It was all out of love.

♥ ♥ ♥

-------------------------------

Ang masasabi ko lang ay..

Sisthurr and Shobe: Thank you for today! I missed you both so so big! Nag-enjoy ako nang sobra at natutuwa ako na nakita ko na ulet kayo. :) Sabaw pa rin kayong kausap. HAHAHA! Atsi loves you both! *YAKAAAAAAP!*

Jay: Wala na. Wala na akong hihilingin pa. AYABYUSHOMATS! ♥

Announcements!

2007-04-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

1. I am public na! I mean, binroadcast ko na ang url ko. Should I say I'm back? No. I never left. I just limited my readers to just one -- JAY. Haha. But now it's public! Tag, you guys! I would reeeeeaaaaaaaally appreciate it. Thanks :)

2. I don't have a Globe number anymore. To those people who contact me through my Globe number, you won't be able to reach me anymore unless you text my Sun. Mag-Sun na kasi ulit eh. Oo Boks nagpaparinig talaga ako! HAHAHA!

3. I'll be out on May 3-5. I'm going to the District 1 Youth Camp of our Church. I hope it's going to be fun. May pool daw eh! Hahaha..

Yan lang muna. I'll update again later, I think. Haha. :)

--UPDATE--
8:30 PM

After lunch, Jay and I went to Electroworld at Park Square to ask Kuya Efren for help regarding the router. It's still screwed up. Hindi pa rin namin alam kung paano aayusin. Amf. >_< Anyway, after that we went to G4 to buy movie tickets for Spiderman 3. :D Tapos tamabay sa Tater's and then balik sa bahay. We kept watching Jay's video because I can't help but laugh and go "aawwww" when I see that vid. It's just so cute! :) And then I fell asleep beside Jay while he's watching TV. Hahaha.. He went home at around 6.

Now, I just finished my dinner. Jay's biking around their village right now so I'm waiting for his text. In the meantime, tinker tinker around. :) That's all bye!

--END OF UPDATE--

5 months na kami!

2007-04-24T10:17:00.000+08:00

Okay, I know all of you would probably go like, "Sheez. It's just five months, Chel. Grow up."

Hahaha! I may sound so mababaw and so like a big cheeseball here but I don't care! I know most of you guys are celebrating anniversaries already but I've never had a relationship that lasted this long and made me feel super happy and content before so excuse my mushiness. LOL :)

When I first met Jay, I didn't know he was going to be a big part of my life as he is right now. I did not even notice him during our LPEP days. We had a lot of guys in the block and it's really hard to keep up with different names and faces in the beginning. I was pretty sure he did not remember me either. He was really not into meeting new people that much because he was preoccupied with something else. Fair game, I guess. ;P

But come to think of it, God really does work in ways that we couldn't ever imagine possible. He knew that Jay and I would understand each other because both of us came from an emotionally rough place. I just can't stress enough how much I am thankful to God that I had met this boy. Let me tell you the things that I am most thankful for:

We complement each other. He fills in the areas that I lack. When I'm weak, he becomes my strength. He believes in me when no one does, especially myself. He always finds a way to cheer me up when I'm sad. Although I am not perfect and I make mistakes, he loves everything about me. He keeps reminding me how special I am, especially to him. He makes me realize my worth.

I even am thankful for the littlest of things that he does. He eats the sisiw in my balut because he knows that I couldn't (or just don't want to LOL). He knows my pig-out foods (aside from Chocnut, of course). He expresses himself well in speaking but I am more comfortable with writing. He loves Kaskade while I enjoy Plus44. Our differences make us perfect for each other because it's too boring if we always get along. LOL! :P

I found a BESTFRIEND in him! We can spend the day by just talking and laughing. He makes me smile and cracks me up. He knows exactly what cheers me up. And he doesn't judge me even when he has all the right to. He looks past the superficial, he sees the real me.. and accepts it wholeheartedly. Nobody had ever accepted and loved me the way he did and still does.

What we have is just so perfect that it scares me. As much as I hope for him to be the one, everything is still uncertain because relationships doesn't always last especially at seventeen. Well if it's not in God's plan, I would not regret anything. I would look back with a smile and remember exactly how I felt at this very moment -- BLISS.

Happy 5th monthsary, Jay!
I love you so much!

P.S. Thank you for the wonderful week! I am so glad that I get to spend every day of it with you! Bbo Bbo! ♥ ♥ ♥

It is a privilege.

2007-04-23T08:45:00.000+08:00

When I went to church today, I was hoping that God would send a message to my heart thru the Sunday Service. And because God is just so awesome, He did not disappoint me. Before the sermon of the pastor started, our Pastor made a few announcements. And the he announced that he was going to anoint our youth pastor, Pastor Lawrence, to be the National Youth Pastor for PAG (Philippine Assemblies of God). PL, as we all call him, has been handling the us/CA (Christ's Ambassadors). It is the youth organization in our church. And now, he has been given a much much bigger responsibility, and that is to handle all the youth-related activites all over PAG. It really is something. PL was asked to come up to the stage and kneel, while all the senior pastors gathered around him, placing their hands on his head. He was anointed with oil and prayed for. He gained the respect of every individual in that church, regardless of the fact that he was just in his late twenties.

It was a glorious moment. I think his parents, who were there, are very very proud of him. PL has proved how faithful he is to God's ministry. He dedicated his life to serving God. He is very talented. He leads the praise and worship every Sunday. He always has fun ideas regarding hte activities that we do in CA. He had always been there for us, the young people, and made sure we can come to him anytime. I look up to him then, and I respect him so much more now.

He was committed to what he was doing. He even wanted his job to be related to his ministry. He was sure that he was made for this. He was sure that God called him to preach His word. And he wanted to fulfill it so that God's name will be glorified. I admire him for that. And what made me admire him even more was when he said that the task that has been given to him is not a responsibility, but a privilege. A privilege to mature spiritually and bring more young souls to the Lord's feet. That was so wow.

I wondered how did he know that God really called him to serve. He said that if it's really His calling, you will just feel it in your heart.

Right now, I don't know what my calling is yet. Whatever it is, I know it's not going to be easy. Nothing really is. But for the meantime, I'll just prepare myself for the big privilege that the big God has prepared for me. :)

Kwento Mode

2007-04-14T10:52:00.000+08:00

Tapos na ang FINAAAAAAAALS! Sa wakas, yun yun e! Pero ayoko pang mag-April 19. Dahil yown ang araw na malaman ko ang mga sablay kong grades. Haaay. Pero useless nang magworry ako ngayon. Tapos na e. Haaay ayoko na nga pag-usapan to. Haha parang may nagtanong e no? LOL

Magkukuwento ako. Nung Thursday, ANMATH1 finals ko. Tae, sobrang tense na tense ako nung araw na yon. Pano ba naman, 2 hours lang yung allotment para sa buong exam. Eh hello??! Puro computations at may curve sketching pa dun. So parang goodluck nalang samen at sana hindi kami kulangin sa oras. So pumasok ako ng mga 7:30. Pumunta na kami dun sa classroom. Tas maya-maya dumating na yung prof. Sabi niya, dala-dala daw niya yung results nung Quiz 3 namen. So yung mga kaklase ko parang atat na atat silang malaman yung score nila. Tas ako parang "WAAAAAAGG! Ayoko makita baka mawalan lang ako ng gana mag-finals!!" Pero hinde eh, pinamigay pa ren talaga. Sobrang ayoko talagang malaman yung score ko dahil nga ang hirap nung quiz na yon at madidistract lang ako habang nagffinals. Eh wala naman akong choice so kinuha ko na ren. Pagtingin ko.....AMP. NO WAY. May pag-asa pa pala akoooooooo! So medyo nainspire ako dahil tumaas yung chance ng pagpasa ko. Pero mahirap pa rin yung finals. HAHAHA LABO. :)

Okay isa pang kwento. It's Friday the 13th and it's my rest day! Hahaha! Ang habaaaaaaaaaa ng tulog ko. Yey! Paggising ko, tinext ko si Jay. Tinanong ko kung asan siya. Papunta na siya ng school para sa Case Study Defense nila sa NETCOMM. Tas kumain na ako ng lunch. Maya-maya nagtext ulit siya. 11:00 - 11:30 daw yung defense nila. Eh di yun, sabi ko goodluck. Tas nung mga 11:00 na nagtext ulit siya. Sa Monday na lang daw yung defense nila sabi nung prof. Kaya sabi ko uwi na siya. Sabi niya dadaan daw muna siya dito sa bahay, may iaabot lang siya. Tas sabi ko sige. Eh nagcocomputer ako nun. Maya-maya kumatok na siya sa kwarto ko. Akalain mong yung iaabot niya pala eh pagkalaki-laking doughnut! Hahaha naaliw ako, sinlaki ng plato. :D Alam niya daw kasi na mahilig ako sa doughnut eh kaya binili niya yun nung nakita niya. *Awwww* Natunaw ang puso ko katulad nung mga almonds sa ibabaw ng doughnut na dala niya. Hahahaha! :D Baduuuuuuuuuuuuy. LOL

Tapos yun, nagstay pa siya. Wala lang ang saya lang. Nanood ng TV. Kumain ng doughnut. Tinuruan ako maglaro ng DS. Naaliw sa DS. Mas naaliw kay Jay. Nanood ng Seinfeld. Nakatulog. Naglaro pa ulit ng DS. Hahaha. Ah basta, masaya ako. Masaya ako kasi magkasama kami. Jay, kung nababasa mo man to, may bumabagabag kasi talaga sakin e.. BAKIT MINSAN HINDI AKO PINAPANSIN NI LA SALLE? HAHAHAAAAAAA!!

Oy pero seryoso may effect sakin yun. Hehehe.. Anyway, umuwi siya ng bandang 5:30. Ang saya ng araw ko. Haha.

JEREMIAH LIKA NGA DITO ITATAGO NALANG KITA SA ILALIM NG KAMA KO PARA DI KA NA MAKAUWI! HAHAHA!

Goodmorning, starshine! :)

2007-04-11T10:00:00.000+08:00

Okay, I should be studying right now because tomorrow is my OBJECTP finals. And when I say OBJECTP, I mean failure. Hopeless. Zero. Unless a miracle of some sort happens. Anyways, enough of that. I took a break from studying because obviously, I'm blogging. I just want to squeeze out the thoughts in my head for a bit (which does not include OBJECTP at all! LOL).

It has only been like what, 30 minutes, since Jayjay left my house but I already miss him like craaaaaazy. I sooo love this day. Although this morning sucked because I had to take my final exam for DASALGO, things went better this afternoon when Jay and I hung out in my house. It was fun. Despite the fact that it is finals week and I am in serious trouble with some (some? Who am I kidding, A LOT!) of my subjects this term, I still can't help but smile whenever we do I don't know.. whatevers. I mean, just being with him takes me away from the agony of the real world even for just a moment and drifts me off to a place of pure bliss. CHEESE? I don't care! I so missed that boy! ♥ We were not able to see each other for five days because he was with his family in Bicol for the Holy Week. So I really loved today for we spent it together. We also bought food at Kenny's and then ate dinner together with my mom. Thanks for today, Hon. Mwah!

We did nothing special for the Holy Week. We just stayed at home. We went to Church last Friday and that's about it. It's kind of lonely because it's just me and my mom. No Dad. No Jay. Saaaaaad. Hehehe..

Do you know this guy?

He is just LOVE. He might be snobbish and rude but I loooooooove his quirky ways! The way he speaks, the weird sound of his laugh, his oh-so-perfect teeth, his pale skin, his huuuuge factory, his oompa loompas, and most of all, his Wonka bars! They are so so so LOVE. I would give anything to meet him! :) LOL :D

"For your information, little girl, whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips! Everybody knows that."

See? LOOOOOOOOOVE. ♥

T_________T

2007-04-11T08:52:00.000+08:00

KUNG MERON MANG MAKAKAPAGCONFIRM SAKEN NETONG MASAKLAP NA BALITANG TO, PAKIMESSAGE NAMAN AKO. PLEEEEEEASE. SERYOSO AKO. SANA HINDI TOTOO TO. HINDI KO PA KAYANG ILET GO ANG CHOCNUT. :'(

2007-04-05T13:16:00.000+08:00

When I see your smile
Tears roll down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up for you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay it's okay it's okay
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up for you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Coz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Coz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away
Please tell me you'll stay, woah stay woah

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up for you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Thank you for the blissful day, LP. This is for you. <3

April Fool's Day

2007-04-02T11:59:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to one of the craziest people ever. Walang tatalo sa'yo Beyb! Uuuyy, tanda mo na LOL! Mwah! Lab ka ni beyb mo! :)

Summer magparamdam ka!

2007-03-30T09:34:00.000+08:00

Hindi naman sa hindi ako naiinitan no. Actually ang sakit na nga sa ulo pag tanghali dahil sa sobrang init eh. Hindi ko lang maramdam ang summer dahil sa kabila ng kainitan, ang dami ko pang ginagawa! Nooooo! Gusto ko na magsummer at magbakasyon! Gusto ko ng pahinga. Gusto ko magliwaliw. Gusto ko magrelax. Gusto ko mamasyal kasama si Jay. Gusto ko makita mga kaibigan ko nung gradeschool. Gusto ko makita mga kaibigan ko nung highschool. Gusto ko magswimming. Gusto ko magTagaytay. Gusto ko kumain ng halo-halo. Gusto kong magphotoshop nang walang sawa. Gusto ko magbabad sa tv nang hindi nagwworry na mapupuyat or malelate kinabukasan. Ang dami kong gustong gawin. Obvious ba? (HAHA) Pero bago ko magawa ang lahat ng yan, kailangan ko muna tapusin tong mga to:

~~DASALGO Case Study 2~~
~~DASALGO Case Study 1&2 Defense~~
~~SPEECOM Impromptu Speech~~
~~SPEECOM Extemporaneous Speech Evaluation~~
~~SPEECOM Panel Discussion Evaluation~~
~~OBJECTP MP Submission~~
~~OBJECTP MP Defense~~
~~ANMATH1 Quiz 3~~
~~FILKOMU Finals~~
~~FORMDEV Finals~~
~~DASALGO Finals~~
~~OBJECTP Finals~~
~~ANMATH1 Finals~~

>________________<